Apocalypse Comes Full Circle

Possum Death Spree claims to be the web's first carbon-neutral film, a designation that means Al Gore catered it or something. The film itself is about four minutes' worth of the best part of a horror film -- when the monsters attack and the sexy young humans die horribly. In this case, the monsters are thawed possums, and the sexy young humans gamely shriek and burst and run away, pursued by a predictably question-marky The End. It's all the sort of splattery fun you'd expect from the title; nothing more, nothing less. Actually, a little bit less: the film STRICTLY FORBIDS scrubbing, so no fast-forward or rewind. Dragging a playhead must cause global warming somehow.

There's probably some kind of remarkable statement to be made here, about how it's a carbon-neutral film about monsters frozen in ice by climate change millions of years ago. Discursive wheels within wheels! Aren't we all just frozen bloodthirsty possum in the great permafrost of life? We look forward to a sequel, set millions of years in the future, when a race of super-evolved possums accidentally thaws out some bloodthirsty humans.