Well, frankly, neither had we. That is, until we read this crazy -- yet, not so crazy -- article on Republicans in Ohio switching party alliances and voting Democratic. 16,000 Republicans, to be exact. Now, why the heck would all these Republicans go Democrat? This is part of "The Plot." Instigated by Rush Limbaugh, the theory is that Hillary Clinton would be easier for Republican fave, John McCain, to beat at election time. By having......

Here's todays sports news...

Dear automobile driver/registered Democrat, We heart you. Love, us We found this over at Nature abhors a vacuum, and we couldn't be more tickled. This is usually the kind of image that enrages both the counter-culture neo-conservative warriors of the Bay Area and the appalling politics-is-like-a-game-of-chess bullshit spouting elite. But, you see, this driver knows what time it is: just stick a democrat in the White House, because at this point, any of those......

As it gets closer to Halloween for LAist, a contributer recollects her tale of staring down the serial killer, Richard Ramirez, otherwise known as the Night Stalker. Must think happy thoughts -- okay, free organic chocolate chip cookies for Los Angeles -- now that's a happy thought. Other happy Los Angeles thoughts include an interview with Jack Kehler of The Big Lebowski (he was the Dude's landlord), a beautiful and magical photographic moment in Venice......

The dude who plunked down $752,467 to get the home-run ball that is #756 has decided to put it up to an online vote as to what to do with it...

Happy first weekend of September - and happy Labor Day weekend, too, for our American cities! Let's take a look at what's been happening around the Ist-a-verse. The deaths of two firefighters shook Bostonist this week. Boston's firefighters bent over backwards all week long - first, they fought flames pouring from the Boston Tea Party museum, and then a restaurant fire killed two and injured many more. Their efforts make everything else - like Tom......

Karl Rove's (admittedly awesome) Jaguar gets "victimized" with plastic wrap, fake eagles, and "I love Obama" stickers while parked on a private driveway next to the White House's West Wing. Or it's all some (admittedly lame albeit successful) media-hungry prank or old-chums-from-the-alma-mater pranksterism, because: you call that vandalism? Images: AP......

Here's todays sports news...

In case you missed it, President 25% Approval Ratings was able to ram through some legislation revamping all those FISA laws you keep hearing about. It's hard to make heads or tails of what the bill says as the administration, in a surprise to no one, won't tell anyone what it says, but it involves making warrants kind of unnecessary, the monitoring of anyone suspected as a "terrorist" and-- get this-- the oversight by one Alberto "Fredo" Gonzalez. That's more than letting the fox guard the hen house, that's letting Michael Vick run the SPCA. ...

SFist Rita is out of town for work, so we are donning our tiara and gown for this weeks Swells analysis. Tra-la-la! Total number of people pictured in this week's Swells society column: 57. Total number of people pictured whom we recognize/know: 23. This high number is because of the SF Library event with lots of writers, including Amy Tan, Vendela Vida, Dave Eggers, Stephen Elliot, Ben Fong-Torres, Michael Lewis, Kathi Kamen Goldmark, Sam Barry,......

We have our own little bit of PurgeGate on our end of the country. Maybe not the most exciting part of the story, as it doesn't involve voter fraud or missing e-mails, but still a piece of the puzzle. ...

Last week, the Washington "Moonie" Times wrote a story saying that, in effect, that Nancy Pelosi requested that the Air Force provide her flights to and from Washington whenever she actually deigns to come home to the City by the Bay. The story is potentially embarrassing to Pelosi as it plays on the caricature of her being shrewish bitch who requests military planes while our brave sons and daughters are dying to fight the war on terror even though Iraq has nothing to do with it and even Republicans wish the war would end but they're still going to stop non-binding resolutions to stop it. Or something like that. As these things tend to happen, the story got out into the Republican echo chamber and you know what happens whenever that occurs-- the press has to cover it like it's an important story. Also, so called blabber mouths in politics and cable news spout it off like it's the unbridled truth without actually investigating it. ...

Nancy Pelosi stepped up her fight against the White House over the surge, escalation, augmentation, whatever the hell they're calling it these days. On the place where most major policy discussions are held-- in between cooking segments and celebrity interviews on "Good Morning America" Pelosi accused the President of rushing to send off the troops in a rush to circumvent congressional oversight. In a response, the White House said, oh who cares what the White House says. ...

Alright sports fans, here it is, the moment you've all been waiting for, the official SFist "Name the Couple Contest!" And even if they are broken up (as has been rumored), well, why let a little facts get in the way of all the fun-- it works for the White House. We thought we had come up with some good names ourselves, but you, you people...we want to party with you (and yes, that somehow makes this the second Stripes reference of the day). Below are the selected winners which were chosen by careful SFist selection procedures (what struck our fancy after half a bottle of wine and some xanax). Special SFist shouts go to the people who came up with this: readers Ian (mazel tov on the engagement, Ian!) for Mountsome, our very own Sarah L for Lost in Translation 2, Tanjay with Mayor Mountz, and the really on top of things Olivia for Mountsome and Mayor Mountz. So here we go, it's votin' time. We'll announce the winning name on Friday. ...

Remember those heady days of 2004, when the Democrats thought they might have had a chance to take back the White House with Howard Dean? Well, we all know how that turned out. But it turns out a bunch of people took that whole grassroots, Internet, "taking back the Democratic wing of the Democratic party" stuff seriously enough that they started a group called Democracy for America, dedicated to furthering the mission throughout all......

Few things are more annoying than a government that touts a righteous altruism then acts in ways that brazenly contradict it, and then seeing the news media deliberately let them get away with it. When the world's sole superpower toys around with foreign nations as if they were little army men on a map, they must stymie their opposition with duplicity and mistruths, which is exactly what the Bush Administration has done. ...

Bust out the Kangol Caps, drawstring pants, and Bell Biv Devoe concert tees Raiders fans as the Silver & Black continue with their love affair with Back in the Day as they signed the one and only Jeff George. Yep, that Jeff George. George, in a way, makes a perfect Raider-- he's old, he's got a rocket for an arm, and he's dumb as dirt. Which is why he's become a running joke over the years: the dude was majorly talented yet majorly douche-y....

We here at SFist feel compelled to write about the latest outrage coming out of Crawford Texas these days. No, not the whole War on Terror thing, but the word on the street being that one of W's Summer Beach Reading Books is Albert Camus' "The Stranger." Apparently, he was so taken by it that he debated it with Tony Snow. We can only imagine the conversation too: "See, 'The Stranger' is a book about philosophy, which means the author, Cay-Moo, philosiphizes. He's a philosopher. I find what he says interesting."...

First off, we suppose we should mention July 4. After all, it's only American, right? And everyone has a picnic, right? But before you go off all half-cocked and over-marinated, check out what Biggles has to say over at Meathenge, all right? On the other hand, maybe some of you aren't grillers. In that case, listen to Food Musing's Grandma, who has some good advice on that very picnicky dish, fried chicken. And Celeste......

Well, our little congresswoman made a stirring come-from-behind comeback victory yesterday and overtook Cynthia McKinney in Wonkette's "Congressional Catfight." We hope it was our valued readers who helped take the prize for ole' Nance. But that's not the real big news today. The big news is that Nancy has come out and said that basically, that whole impeachment thing everyone's all dreaming about these days if the Democrats take over the House? Ain't gonna happen. It's "off the table." ...

Wow, we're kind of embarrassed to admit that when we first read this article about how "the Chronicle" exposed a major security breach on the President's Air Force One, we automatically assumed it was the Houston Chronicle. But no! It's our very own hometown rag! Sorry we doubted! So the Chron (our Chron, not the Bozeman (MT) Chronicle) was poking around online last week and found a webpage online that listed all of Air Force One's secret security defenses -- and, for good measure, also listed exactly where you'd need to send a bomb to blow up the plane's oxygen tank. Yikes! (Before you morbid types go clicking, the Chron decided not to publish the actual url of the page; the link we have is just to the news article itself.) The Chron promptly notified the White House and Andrews Air Base (where Air Force One is based), but, troublingly, no one ever took the webpage down. They notified them again before they ran the original story on Saturday, but the page wasn't removed from public access until Monday. Anonymous sources at the Pentagon report that the higher-ups aren't too happy about the mix-up either. They're rethinking their web-based policies now. Good job, Chron! Sorry we thought you were someone else. Picture of Air Force One over Mount Rushmore ...

There's a whole wide world out there, and here's the proof: DCist revels in The University of Maryland's basketball triumphs, marvels at Metro's security strategy, and applauds DC local Katie Couric's new gig. Phillyist is all about the Philadelphia Film Festival. OK, not all about -- they still have time for loitering, underage sex, and random wacky news. LAist would have to send a camera around the world to get shots as bizarre as Katie's......

Yes, our beautiful city and it's congressional representative once again made the "Daily Show." Yay! And could we be more provincial? Anyways, the bit was on latest political meme being that despite all the Republicans troubles caused by committing the three biggest sins of politics-- bad war, bad governance, bad ethics-- the Democrats are once unable to shoot straight. Or even fire their guns without blowing themselves up in the process and winding up looking like Daffy Duck taking on Bugs Bunny and having their beak blown up to the other side of his head. So Stewart and the gang went through a variety of recent statements by Democratic leaders to illustrate the point. ...

A failed robbery in Golden Gate Park led to a murder, as a man trying to help out a woman being mugged by two brothers was shot to death. Another witness was apparently trying to warn both the woman and the Samaritan that the two brothers were armed, but it's unclear whether the Samaritan heard. The brothers then attempted to escape the cops but got lost in the park trails. It;s the first time the lack of clear signage at Golden Gate Park has ever helped anyone! The murder count in SF is now up to 81 people, which is exactly where it was at this time last year. Local gal Cindy Sheehan was found guilty of protesting outside the White House without a permit, a misdemeanor. She was fined $75, and plans to appeal. "We weren't demonstrating," she says. Riiiiiiiiight. And dude, we are so attending the wrong continuing legal education classes -- the Bar Association of SF's real estate section's monthly lunch meeting at the Carnelian Room, on landlords' rights under the Ellis Act, was disrupted by tenant protestors, one of whom stormed up to the stage with a STOP ELLIS ACT EVICTIONS signs and started talking about tenants' rights, as other protestors began chanting, "Hey hey, ho ho, the Ellis Act has got to go." The landlord lawyers called security, to do a little evicting of their own. ...

Picture this story with the Drudge Report flashing lights, but we have an exclusive, late-breaking and developing story from The Weekly World News: ALIENS ARE COMING TO SAN FRANCISCO! We repeat, ALIENS ARE COMING TO SAN FRANCISCO. According to the story (which is so hot that it's not linked to, and the fact that the Weekly World News doesn't put their stories online is criminal), the aliens in question are from Mercury and are said to be "short" and "red-skinned." Last week, the state legislature and the Governor voted to give a square mile in between China Town and Nob Hill (there goes the strip clubs) to the aliens from Mercury, or as there known Mercurians. With the land given to them, the Mercurians will build housing for themselves "made of solidified liquid mercury and powered by solar panels" something that will make the Mayor happy because it's in keeping with his big Green Initiative. ...

We have the latest and hottest political news today, coming to you from the best place to get the hottest California political news, the gossip pages. Which raises this interesting question: for those of us who read celebrity news to get away from politics, where do we go when politics become part of the gossip pages? And will all of this mean that we should start watching "Extra!" to get the lastest news on the Plame indictments? Anyways, in Monday's edition of the Examiner’s "The Scoop," there is a blurb about Entertainment Weekly saying that Warren Beatty "has been telling anyone who will listen that he plans to unseat Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger." And Cindy Adams writes in her Page Six column in the New York Post that the Governator is so pissed about the President poaching off his Republican money men, which he did last week and which the Governor was once again a very conspicuous no show, that he basically told the White House off and is threatening to become a Democrat over the whole thing. ...

Scared enough yet, with all this talk about Avian Bird Flu and quarantines and the Government saying "we got it under control" and the TomKat pregnancy? Well get ready 'cause things are about to get scarier. Some computer scientist at UC Davis just put together some new fangled computer system and determined that there is a 25% chance that there will be huge earthquake somewhere within 150 miles of San Francisco in the next twenty years. ...

So you want to be a hooker? Want a new profession doing the world's oldest profession? Want to learn some new tips for turning tricks? Well SFist has just the thing for you! On May 4th, you too can attend Whore College. Yep, for the cheap price of $20 per class, $40 for a day pass, you can take a whole bunch of classes that teach you how to be a ho. Afterwards, you can even earn a diploma, and nothing impresses a John more than a whore with a diploma (not that SFist would ever know, of course). Sadly, they won't be offering our favorite classes this year such as "Deconstructing Guido the Killer Pimp," "Crack Whores Through History" and "How to Get a White House Press Pass," but we're sure if there's enough demand, they can add it. Best part of all this? You can get a scholarship! The classes are part of the 4th Annual Sex Worker Film & Arts Fest, Sex Worker, of course, being the nice, politically correct term for a hooker (SFist, being the essence of politically correct, often refers to the toothless crone who always propositions us on the way to work as a "Crack Sex Worker.") Among other things, the 4th Annual Sex Worker Film & Arts Fest, or BAYSWAN for short, features films, a sex toy bazaar, an art exhibit, a performance by Annie Sprinkle, and burlesque shows. All of which raises this question: if conventions are notorious for being great opportunities for hookers to turn tricks, who is around to turn tricks at a hooker convention? ...

For all those people wishing somebody, anybody, would get to the bottom of this whole steroid mess, have no worries, congress is here! This week, members of the House Government Reform Committee, having finished reforming the government, have asked several ballplayers linked in the steroid scandal, several ball players not linked in the steroid scandal, MLB baseball officials, and union officials to testify next Thursday in front of the committee about steroid abuse. Those players, including Mark McGwire, Sammy Sosa, and Jason Giambi, have pretty much refused to testify. As have most MLB officials. And so, yesterday, congress sent out subpoenas. Noticeably absent from all this is one Barry Lamar Bonds. This despite the fact he has become the poster-boy of alleged steroid abuse and despite the fact he's about to break the most famous record in all of sports. Not to mention despite the fact some people think this whole BALCO thing is nothing more than an attempt to get Barry. ...

Okay, so this has nothing to do with San Francisco but everything to do with blogging. One Elizabeth Spiers has, in the last month, done more to lend credibility to the practice of blogging than bloggers have been able to do for themselves in the last two years. And no, we certainly don't mean getting a job at New York Magazine. What we mean is transforming Laurel Toby's Mediabistro into something, well, relevant. Why do......