Don't you feel like you need a kick in the pants tonight? I don't know, maybe it's the candy or the 4/20ness or the concussion from the Big Wheel race, but we're all a little draggy (and not in the fun way) today, yeah? That's why SFist is prescribing a trip to the Uptown for what's billed as "San Francisco’s biggest and wildest burlesque show," Hubba Hubba Revue.

Described as "a mix of irreverent comedy, classic striptease and circus and variety acts," HHR just might be the jump-start your week (or something!) needs. Tonight's lineup includes performers Polly Pony Girl, Elle Emme & Boy Toy, Lula Applebruise, Bramani Quinn, Mojo DeVille, Empress Mo, Darla Tiesing Cox and Suzil Von Schtupt.

Still not sure? Then check out the video below for a Hubba Hubba taste, and take a look at their galleries for photos from past events.

What: Hubba Hubba Revue
When: Doors open at 9 PM, show is at 10:15
Where: The Uptown, 1928 Telegraph Avenue in Oakland (one block from 19th Street BART)
Cost: $5, or you can get advance tickets for $10

The headline says it all, folks. Drag Queens. Ice. Top 40 hits. Gowns. Wigs. Union Square. Blades of whorey. Rad. Everything you need to to do tonight happens on the ice. Join Donna Sachet, Sister Roma, and a bevy of other local drag stars as they take to frozen water and make magic.

Can't make it? This, in part, is what you'll be missing:

The holiday mary-ment goes from 8 — 9:30 PM at the Safeway Holiday Ice Rink in Union Square. They provide the ice skates, locker rentals, and fun. You provide your grace and elegance. For example.

RSVP here.

When is the last time you classed it up, even the tiniest smidge ... lost the post-work sweatpants, took a shower, maybe went to a museum or read a book? Yeah, neither have we. Perhaps we're projecting just a teensy bit, but San Francisco, it's time to pull yourself together. And if you're looking for an alternative to your typical Monday night takeout and Netflix routine, look no further than tonight's free jazz showcase at the new SFJAZZ Center.

The culmination of a community band workshop series led by Bay Area musician, composer and bandleader Adam Theis, tonight's performance brings together intermediate to advanced musicians from diverse backgrounds: high school jazz enthusiasts to retired musicians to everyone in between (by audition only). As you can see from the program's teaser video, these aren't your average open-mic level performers: they've got some serious musical chops. And if you've never visited the city's newest temple to jazz, there's really no better excuse than a free night of cozy jazz tracks to liven up your week.

Monday Night Band
Monday, December 9th, 7:30PM
Miner Auditorium, SFJAZZ Center
201 Franklin Street, San Francisco

This year "Cannonball" turned 20-years-old. Feel old yet? You should. But stand proud of those fine lines and puffy jowls, GenXer. You've earned that wisdom because you came of age in the '90s. The glorious '90s. An age when small backpacks, chokers, and playing onstage with your back to the audience ruled. And with that, we're tickled to bring you word that the Breeders will perform Last Splash in its entirety tonight and tomorrow at the Fillmore.

As an extra special treat for SF only, they will also play all of Pod as an encore. Splendid.

Below, enjoy their classic "Cannonball"—the video was directed by Kim Gordon and Spike Jonze (who at the time was a 23 years old).

Tickets: $30

It's summertime, it's the first Friday of the month, and it's pretty impossible to tell you exactly what you should be doing. But if you're searching for plans and especially if you're feeling cash-strapped after sending in your rent check, there are free First Friday events galore. Our advice? Pick the one closest to you and have fun while you're at it.

Oakland Art Murmur is the biggest First Friday attraction of them all, with 21 member galleries and nine mixed-use venues running events and exhibitions. It's growing in scope and popularity with every given month, so get there now before it becomes so big and awesome it starts giving you a complex about still living in S.F.

The North Beach First Friday art crawl includes over a dozen North Beach galleries, museums, bars, and restaurants. Expect discounts, happy hours, free booze and more, all patting yourself on the back for being a true patron of the arts.

If you're looking for fun on wheels, the Bike Party is rolling strong with their monthly ride, this time with a "summer camp" theme. "Whether you went to science camp, sports camp or were team captain in color war, it's time to relive the glory days." Meet at China Basin Park at 7:30 if you're on board.

Art and bikes not totally your thing? Allow us to point you in the direction of El Rio's free oysters on the half shell, which start rolling out every Friday at 5:30pm.

There's no shame in being cheap, but there are also benefits to being magnanimous, especially when local charities are on the line. Luckily, you can choose between the two for the whole month of August, when Oakland cinema darling The New Parkway hosts it "Karma Cinema Month." The Parkway, if you'll recall, is the movie theater where couches, beer and food are all part and parcel of the movie-going experience.

Pay a dollar, or pay $10 (or more!): 30% of the proceeds from your movie ticket will go to benefit four local nonprofit community groups. Tonight's screenings include anarchist thriller The East, coming of age story The Kings of Summer, classic Fight Club and punk documentary A Band Called Death, but Karma Cinema lasts all month, so be sure to swing by and plant your butt in a couch for a cause.

The New Parkway Theater
474 - 24th Street, Oakland

We're never sure how to write about music, especially tunes and ditties we dig. In Stephen Sondheim's (brilliant) Finishing The Hat, the composer accuses all music writers (save for a couple of NYT scribes) of being musically illiterate. Who are we to argue? And with that, you should check out tonight's Mammoth Life's record release party in the Mission. The only thing we can succinctly tell you about them is that we listened to their latest self-titled effort at recent dinner party and we thoroughly enjoyed them.

How's that for music criticism?

Giggle Party, Animal Friend, and Li Xi, while DJ Neil Martinson mans the decks.

Show starts at 9 p.m. Be there.

Brick & Mortar Music Hall 1710 Mission (at Division), S.F.
$8
Doors: 8 pm / Show: 9 pm

By now 'Zodiac', the 2007 movie based on the events surrounding the Zodiac Killer's reign of terror in 1970's San Francisco, is a bit of a classic. From scenes depicting a Chronicle newsroom and S.F. police department from the not-so-distant past to a glorious configuration of actors Jake Gyllehaal, Mark Ruffalo and Robert Downey Jr., Zodiac is worth more than one watch, especially considering that the still-unsolved serial killings defined an entire era of San Francisco history.

But tonight's event takes it beyond just a simple screening of the movie. Presented by Flipside, an S.F. history events group that raises money for the Old Mint museum project, the screening will be accompanied by presentations by lead San Francisco Chronicle Reporter Kevin Fagan and current lead detective from San Francisco Police Department, who'll share insights and anecdotes from years spent chasing the killer. For the $15 price of entry, you also get one beer from Peak Brewing Company and a chance to check out the "SF In The Era of the Zodiac" historical display. Big Chef Tom's Belly Burgers will also be on hand for those members of the audience that prefer their historical homicides with a side of pork belly.

Killer in the Fog: Zodiac Movie Night
5:30 p.m. to 10:30 p.m.
The Old Mint, 88 5th St.

Previously: All SFist covered of the Zodiac Killer, Best Movie Scenes in San Francisco

Crime isn't supposed to pay, but sometimes it does ... to the tune of something like $1 million a week. Screening at the Roxie Theater this week, How to Make Money Selling Drugs (2012) is an unusual documentary that delves into the lives and businesses of big-time drug dealers from their perspectives, and includes candid interviews with dealers themselves, who shares thoughts, stories and hows-tos on making money in the drug trade. Most notable among these is "Freeway" Ricky Ross, the 1980's drug kingpin who claims to have once earned $3 million in one day from drug trafficking.

With a structure somewhere between a how-to video and a video game walk-through, you can learn Ross' tips, along with insights on why the War on Drugs is failing to stymie the illicit drug industry (and may even be helping it).

7:00 p.m. and 9:00 p.m.
Roxie Theater
3117 - 16th Street San Francisco
415-863-1087

Out-of-towners and guide books like to euphemistically describe San Francisco as "colorful". By that they might mean perverse, strange, demented or just a little more intense than your typical stopover in Des Moines. But the thing is that a city is a city, and living in one means a fair amount of grey on grey action. And even though we may live in the most colorful city in the world, all that grey can really start to get to you.

That's why when it comes to art exhibitions, my natural preference is always towards large oily canvases that blast my brain open with saturated color and leave my jaw hanging slack (no offensive, thoughtful black and white photography shows). The de Young's new retrospective of Richard Diebenkorn's work does just that, with the added bonus of highlighting a true hometown art hero. Diebs made his home here from an early age, attending venerable schools like Lowell, Stanford and Cal, and setting up shop all over the Bay Area.

The works featured here showcase a prolific period between 1953 and 1966, so-called the "Berkeley Years" for the time Diebenkorn spent in his backyard East Bay studio, where he painted pieces in what would become known as the San Francisco school of abstract expressionism (think natural theme, light and shadow and spartan, airy spaces).

Diebenkorn's paintings range from the representational to the abstract but are bound by a cohesion of strokes and color sensibility: his abstracted aerial landscapes and figures breathe in sage, periwinkle, oranges and salty ocean tones, with pops of canary yellow and pockets of muddy darkness.

While the show is extensive, the nature of the work means you won't leave feeling drained and depleted, but refreshed, revitalized and a little bit less grey.

Richard Diebenkorn, The Berkeley Years
June 22 - September 29
de Young Museum, 50 Hagiwara Tea Garden Dr.
(415) 750-3600

As literary events go, we're not sure you can do better than "competitive erotic fanfiction." Tonight, The Booksmith hosts Shipwreck, a contest billed as "fun for the literary pervert" wherein six writers square off with tales derived from the classic The Great Gatsby which deviate into profane and perverted territories yet to be discovered.

Here's the general idea:

Six great writers will destroy one great book, one great character at a time, in service of the transcendent and the profane (and also laughs). Marvel as beloved characters are plucked from their worlds and made to do stuff they were never meant to do in places they were never meant to see.

$10 buys you access to an open bar and the vocal talents of "Shakespearean Thespian in Residence" Sir Steven Westdahl, who'll read each entry aloud to the voting public. Winner gets to choose the book for the next Shipwreck, so keep your ears open and your mouth ajar for perverted literary pleasures untold, plus booze.

Thursday, June 20, 7:30 p.m.
The Booksmith
1644 Haight St, S.F., 94117

Mondays can be rough, and sometimes it takes a stiff drink or a creamy pint of ice cream to shake off the beginning-of-the-week blues. Tonight, you won't have to choose between alcohol or dairy based indulgences. North Beach's Gelateria Naia location is throwing an all-you-can-eat very happy hour featuring 20 different liquor-infused gelato flavors.

Expect flavors derived from local spirit providers, especially St. George Spirits, which appears in frozen incarnations like the absinthe gelato, 21st Amendment beer gelato swirled with St. George Single Malt, Terroir Gin Gimlet gelato and Bananas Foster gelato with rum. Look out for the Lagunitas Stout & TCHO Chocolate flavor, Earl Grey-infused pisco flavor, and a Fernet gelato, which creators say makes an amazing flavor because of its hints of cinnamon, myrrh, chamomile, cardamom and saffron.

All proceeds from the event will go to the SF Food Bank, so even if you wanted to feel guilty about all this you wouldn't be able to.

Monday, June 17, 7 p.m. to 10 p.m.
Gelateria Naia, 520 Columbus (at Stockton)
$10, tickets available here

The 12th Annual SF DocFest has hit the Bay Area, and that means dozens of films providing "a manageable amount of truth" are screening for your enjoyment. (Side note: can you handle the truth? If yes, how much can you manage on a scale of 1-10?)

Tonight, watch the DocFest's collection of locally-produced or directed short films, including:

The Scenes: following a group of elementary students who find an unusual way to spend their time during recess. These students decide to put on ‘scenes’, singing, dancing and acting, attracting attention and scorn from students who can’t quite figure out what it is the ‘scenes’ are.

AwardWinningGir: one women as she navigates dating in the bay… on OkCupid! One woman’s quest to find love over the internet, learning all along the way.

Between Land and Sea: A man in woman’s is tested by the isolation and constant work as lighthouse keepers. Working on the tiny East Brother Island and surrounded by lighthouse kitsch and romantic views of the San Francisco Bay, the strain of serving up an idealized tourist experience and living in extremely close quarters is beginning to show.

The Hjemkomst: Thirty Years Later: one middle school teacher’s dream to build a Viking ship and sail to its historical land in Norway. Now, thirty years after the trip the crew is reunited.

The Sum Total of our Memory: Couples fearlessly (and humorously) face the onset of Alzheimer’s disease what it means to relate to life with ‘holes’ in your memory. This film joyously takes on the hardships of losing one’s memory, and all the new ways one must relate to life, working in the garden and sex!

The SF DocFest runs June 6-23 throughout the Bay Area.

Wednesday, June 12, 7 p.m.
Little Roxie, 3125 16th Street, S.F. 94103

Those crazy kids! What will they think of next? Leasing a 14,000 sq ft building for $1 for the month of June? Done and done.

This month, a group of community organizers, artists and local folks have created [freespace], a month-long community center on Mission and 7th Street that will function as an event space, art exhibit and "civic hack". They're turning the parking lot into a community garden, creating an incubator that challenges the "paradigms of homelessness", and running community engagement events like walking tours and neighborhood forums.

Tonight, they're unveiling their first public art exhibition. They've given local artists the opportunity to create 20 murals over the last 10 days, and they're ready to show off the results and introduce their space to the city. Expect art, entertainment and a warm fuzzy sense of civic engagement as you take in the energy of the space and meet the energetic "Cadets" who are making the project possible.

Don't quite get it? Here's their mission statement:

[ f r e e s p a c e ] is a month-long community center in the heart of San Francisco where people have the opportunity to reimagine the urban experience. Our month-long civic hack shows the power that community holds to transform a neighborhood by activating empty space.

Bringing together people from across the spectrum, from tech to community organizers, we are creating a space where digital and analog exist side by side. San Francisco, with its fiercely collective spirit and rich history of unending innovation, has been at the forefront of forward-thinking and empathy-filled ideas. We have been hacking the city long before there was a word for it.

Tuesday, June 11, 6 p.m. to 9 p.m.
[freespace], 1131 Mission Street, SF, 94103