Vomit. McDonald's legendary McRib wad—i.e., a sandwich consisting of a pork-like substance pressed into a ribcage shape, bathed in corn syrup and heated to palatability—makes a grand return to heart valves next month. "McDonald's plans to announce Monday that the sandwich, usually available only when individual restaurants feel like making it, will be sold at all U.S. locations through Nov. 14.," beams USA Today.

The McRib, a cult favorite, came about when the company's then president wanted to add "pork" to the menu back in '80s. The barbecue abomination sparked a delightful episode of The Simpsons, wherein Homer travels across the U.S. to find the last Krusty Burger serving The Ribwich.

The McRib made a surprise return back in 2009, if you recall, but vanished just as soon as it came.

With only (!) 500 calories and 26 grams of disgusting fat, it's "slightly trimmer" than the Big Mac, which boasts 540 calories and 29 grams of fat. It's vile, harmful, and we would totally eat one right now.

Given the control PR ilk try to exert over food writing in the Bay Area, we're shocked (and a bit tickled) to see this story go live. See, several people fell ill at last month's SF OysterFest at Fort Mason after apparently consuming a bacteria-laced food item that kept them on the toilet for hours. City Insider reports: "The Department of Public Health was on the case -- and has determined the culprit was 'campylobacter' which means 'twisted bacteria.' Sounds yummy, huh? It causes major food poisoning and symptoms last for up to a week."

Several Yelpers took the the internet to vent their reactions. Attendee turned unwitting diarrhea sufferer Miriam F had this to say:

I started feeling REALLY sick on Tuesday, chills, shaking, on the toilet CONSTANTLY and my fever was over 103 and would not come down with advil. I went to an urgent care Weds morning and was sent directly to the ER. They did a blood test and my white blood cell count was through the roof meaning I obviously had a terrible infection. They had no clue what it was...it took me three full days of antibiotics through an IV, morphine for the stomach pain etc...until I was OK. I was finally released that Friday when they diagnosed me with CHLAMPOBACTER. The odd thing is that this type of food poisoning is from contaminated poultry. You could get it even if somebody for example touched the poultry and then a cucumber. I only had oysters and beer at the festival but suppose that they could've gotten contaminated.

Egads. Sounds disgusting.

The S.F. Health Department went on to tell SFGate that "there's no ongoing concern." We can only hope that the upcoming OysterFest at Waterbar (side note: these people really need to come together to figure out another name for oyster galas) on 8/27 takes the proper precautions.

[SFGate]

At the risk of sounding like Cathy at the height of her menstruation cycle, we just love us some raw cookie dough. Mmm. It even has its very own ice cream, which should attest to the pre-baked dessert's popularity. But, whenever we reached for the cookie dough bowl in our youth, our mother would gently remind us that raw cookie dough contains raw eggs. Raw eggs that would KILL US DEAD. So, when you eat the stuff, it's at your own risk.

Enter 18-year-old Jillian Collins from San Mateo. See, she is "among 65 people in 29 states who reported getting sick with E. coli after eating the raw dough made by Nestle USA Inc.," according to NBC Bay Area. And now, like any red-blooded American, she is suing Nestle for giving her a nightmarish case of the shits. And while people are freaking out at her for daring to sue the company while not claiming personal responsibilty, Nestle uses pasteurized eggs in their cocaine-habit-like-forming nuggets of dough. The stuff is made and marketed for eating as-is, not baking.

But what say you, righteous readers?

Oh, and here's a list of all recalled Nestle cookie products.

This just in! E.Coli, more or less, comes from fecal mater, not eggs (that's salmonella), so the plot thickens...

At the risk of sounding like an alarmist, SFist received word today about a possible virus outbreak in San Francisco. It's the Norovirus, a common cause of the stomach flu, which is "transmitted by faecally contaminated food or water [Ew! -- SFist] and by person-to-person contact."

Thankfully, the JavaOne conference team at Moscone Center was notified before any citizens. Check it:

The JavaOne conference team has been notified by the San Francisco Department of Public Health about an identified outbreak of a virus in the San Francisco area. Testing is still underway to identify the specific virus in question, but they believe it to be the Norovirus, a common cause of the "stomach flu", which can cause temporary flu-like symptoms for up to 48 hours. Part of the San Francisco area impacted includes the Moscone Center, the site of the JavaOne conference which is being held this week. We are working with the appropriate San Francisco Department of Public Health and Moscone representatives to mitigate the impact this will have on the conference and steps are being taken overnight to disinfect the facility. We have not received any indication that the show should end early, so will have the full schedule of events on Friday as planned. We hope to see you then.

For further information, as well as Frequently Asked Questions related to the Norovirus, please visit the San Francisco Department of Public Health website at http://sfcdcp.org/norovirus.cfm

Update: The Gate has more on the Moscone Center bug, which has led to violent diarrhea and vomiting. [insert your own joke here]

Micrograph of the noroviruses: Wikicommons

Tonight's Social Distortion show has been postponed - rescheduled show information forthcoming. Please hold on to your tickets.

Wow. Another cancellation. WTF? So many bands have been sick in the last few months, starting back with The Decemberists in November. It seems that Social Distortion worked too hard last night and they are all puckered out. We haven't heard whether Sunday or Tuesday's show is on or not. We'll just have to wait and see.

It looks like you can stay warm and dry tonight - maybe that's a good thing. We don't want anyone else to get sick now.

Social Distortion
with Tone Junkies
Tonight, Saturday, January 5th, Doors 8/show 9
The Fillmore
POSTPONED! New show information to follow.

Image from allposters.com