"Former San Francisco Supervisor Ed Jew sentenced to five and a half years in prison for fraud & extortion," says CBS 5.

The disgraced former supe, as most of you know by now, tried extorting Chinese immigrant owners of Sunset District Quickly for $84,000, Not so effectively preying upon the same people he promised to support during his campaign.

During her ruling, U.S. District Judge Susan Illston said, "I don't think this was a lapse in judgment or a poor decision. This was a corrupt act." The five-plus year sentence was more than the four years and nine months that prosecutors recommended. Ouch.

More jail time could be tacked on to today's sentence as Jew will soon face the state court for felony perjury. If you recall, he also fibbed about where he lived. (Because Burlingame? Isn't even in San Francisco, Ed.)

Mentally-estranged dreamboat Paul Addis -- you know, the guy who performed last year's premature ignition at Burning Man and most recently tried to burn down Courteney Cox-Arquette and David Arquette's chapel of love? -- pleaded guilty to (presumably) arson, winning himself a cool 12-48 month in federal prison. According to Curbed (via Twitter):

Burning Man successful arsonist and Grace Cathedral would-be arsonist Paul Addis plead guilty in Federal court (to which counts, exactly, we haven't yet heard— we're thinking, um, arson). He was reportedly unapologetic in the courtroom, and has been sentenced to 12-24 months in Federal prison. Wondering if they'll be some sort of Addis-centric Voodoo doll stabbing ceremony on the Playa this year?

Stabbing doll or, um, some other kind of doll will do nicely.

Denied.

Democratic fundraiser Norman Hsu - who helped raised cash for Mayor Gavin Newsom, Kamala Harris, Fiona Ma, Hillary Clinton, and the victorious Barack Obama - was sentenced to three years in prison today for defrauding investors of nearly $1 million over 15 years ago. He was ordered to spend a sojourn behind bars after a Ponzi scheme involving latex gloves. This case is separate from a "separate federal complaint ... by the U.S. Attorney's Office in New York [where] Hsu is charged with a $60 million Ponzi scheme involving high-end apparel from China."

We really need to get in on this Ponzi racket. It sounds totally worth it. And we can find a seamless escape plan in 15 years time.

Hsu, as you might remember, was on the lam for a while back last year, after failing to appear in San Mateo County Superior Court appearance for the latex scheme. He was found on an Amtrack train, dazed and ill, headed east.

Ha. You foolish bastard.

The son of Oakland City Council President Ignacio De La Fuente, Ignacio De La Fuente Jr., 34, got smacked upside the head with a 14-year prison sentence for raping four women. "All but one of whom were prostitutes," according to the Chronicle. (So, we guess three of them deserved it? It's more violating and traumatic for just one of them? We shouldn't be that upset?)

"He was accused of raping four women, three of them prostitutes and the fourth a 15-year-old girl who prosecutors say he mistook for a prostitute," the article goes on to say. His family stands beside him, ignorantly claiming that he committed no sexual assaults, pleading guilty to spare his loved ones the pain and embarrassment of a trial. Which? Lie. This must've been one spoiled child growing up.

But according to a futile conspiracy site, www.delafuenteconspiracy.com, he didn't do it. They swear. For reals.