Described as a wiki of stupidheads, jerks, and self-awareness-free men, the Wikipedia parody site lists notable dickslices such as homecoming queen murderer O.J. Simpson; sexist boor Donald Trump; the Gisele Bundchen-impaling Tom Brady; that fat Arctic bastard Santa Claus (mean!); and Marin County's very own Harvey Milk impersonator, Sean Penn. The nerve. According to Dickipedia: Often described as an acting "powerhouse," Sean Penn is known for his intensity and humorlessness. He has been a......

SFist saw Christmas Day turn tragic after a Siberian tiger escaped from her pen at the San Francisco Zoo, killing a visitor and mauling two others. Phillyist counted down the top ten items on Philadelphia's New Year's wish list. Gothamist looked at the wooden bikes being offered for NYC's first bike share program on Governors Island. LAist received a Christmas present in the form of a drunk Santa Claus in a g-string. Bostonist launched......

--A source passes along these pictures of Gavin Newsom and Carole Migden at a Pride event some time back. We saw Mommy kissing Santa Claus! --Steve Jobs speaks at the Apple Conference today. --They say the real estate market's cooling off -- but the average single-family home in Noe Valley went for $1.4 million in April. Curbed SF gives you the analysis. --There's a new Tales of the City book coming out tomorrow. --The Police......

It was about a year and a half ago when we interviewed a colorful local eccentric about his plans to rip off The Birds and then go to the moon. Since then, things have been kind of quiet; but imagine our delight when we got an email, late last night, notifying us that a trailer for the film is finally available. Which is pretty impressive, since filming hasn't started yet. The trailer is nothing less......

What, you don't believe in Santa Claus? Don't tell Dr.Lloyd Darrow, a self-proclaimed 'Santa-ologist', whose made it his life's mission to uncover the truth about this elusive fat man who visits us just once a year. Darrow's proof the jolly man exists include a lost video from a 1949 polar expedition, the Santa Papyrus dating from 1342 B.C., and an actual jingle bell found in the wreckage at Roswell, New Mexico. ...

Happy Holidays! Chances are, you're reading this the day after Christmas, back at your day job after all-too-short a holiday, and the last thing you want from us is stuff about the holidays. But that's just too bad. Because, see, here in the Ist-A-Verse, we do things ahead of time. It might be December 26 for you, but that's what you get for not checking your Favorite Local Blog on Christmas Eve. ...

Because we're sure nobody is really working right now as visions of sugar plum fairies dance through your head, we have another video to give you. Look at it as a bonus. And we're sure you've all seen this even if it's been only up for a few days . But what the hell, some of you we’re sure haven’t seen it and the thing is funnier the more you watch it....

We'll admit to some stunted growth and immaturity on our parts. The Holidays brings that out of us. So you won't be surprised to learn that the only thing we're excited about watching tonight, (aside from a new episode of "Battlestar Galactica," of course), is the ultimate Rankin-Bass Christmas Special, "Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer," which CBS is running at 8 p.m. (followed by the slightly less stellar "Frosty the Snowman" at 9 p.m.). We......

Hark! The herald angels at Left in SF heeded our plea and forwarded along some pictures of last night's singalong Christmas carol protest of the Golden Gate Restaurant Association's holiday party. As you may remember, the protest was directed at the GGRA's filing of a lawsuit to invalidate Newsom and Ammiano's citywide health care plan. (The plan was discussed in today's NY Times too). The protestors sang jolly songs like "You ruined our Merry......

Is nothing sacred? Next Monday, NBC will be airing a live-action version of the Rankin-Bass puppetoon classic The Year Without a Santa Claus, starring John Goodman as Santa, Harvey Fierstein as the Heatmiser, and Michael McKean as the Snowmeiser. Also present in the cast are Delta Burke and Chris Kattan. Pardon us. The mediocrity is making us a little nauseous. The original, 1974 version of The Year Without a Santa Claus was, for a......

Check out The Bigamist tonight at the Balboa's Reel SF film fest! And Santa Claus legends negatively impact yet another man -- a guy in Hayward, high on unspecified drugs, got stuck trying to sneak back into his house through the chimney, naked. He was trying to rappel down the chimney using the cable TV wire on the roof when the cable snapped and he got stuck three-quarters of the way down. He was stuck there from about 2:30-6:30 a.m., when a neighbor overheard his cries for help. It then took the cops about an hour to push him back up. Four triathletes had to be rescued from the San Francisco bay by the SFPD boat crew and the Coast Guard, after they were swept into strong-moving currents Sunday morning that outpaced their companion safety boats. This is why we compete in the TV-watching/book-reading/music-listening Our Couch Triathlon every weekend instead! And this is a little outside of our coverage area, but a Santa Cruz woman is in custody after biting off the fingertip of a guy she was fighting with. Authorities say alcohol may have been a contributing factor (no way!). On the bright side, that guy can make some quick bucks selling that fingertip to someone who wants to dunk it in a bowl of Wendy's chili. ...

To introduce Gilda (1946) at the Balboa Theater on Thursday, NoirCity founder Eddie Muller offered a familiar interpretation of the film: its protagonist (Glenn Ford as Johnny Farrell), like its director (Charles Vidor), is confused about his sexuality. Now, we've always found this reading a little juvenile, and a little too easy--most film noir, after all, is about homoerotic relationships (see also: cowboy movies) and the beautiful, dangerous women who threaten them. In this......

In our ongoing efforts to Stick It To The Man, we threw off the shackles of local cable giants and went with Alameda Power & Telecom for all of our cable service needs. One of the pleasant side effects has been getting public access channel 31, which produces the TV show "Monster Island Theatre." To call it "the Bay Area's homage to 'Mystery Science Theatre 3000'" is to sell both TV shows short. We......

We here at SFist not so fondly remember our adolescent quest, our desire to find the true essence of rock and roll. With a puberty induced punk rock fervor, we wanted to be rock stars that would catch panties thrown at us with our teeth, smash our equipment, mosh with the gnarlyist metal heads, and captivate audiences with our own brand of rock and roll mayhem. What we got instead were guitar lessons from......

Wait a minute, starf**ks! We're just reporting the news! Don't sue us like you did to local artist Kieron Dwyer when he produced the image at right for his comic book series Lowest Comic Denominator. Though we don't know much about the terms of your settlement with him, we do know that it wasn't terribly favorable to the artist, and includes such stipulations as that he's never allowed to design a circular logo ever......

The anti-war protestor hit in the jaw with a wooden dowel that was fired by the Oakland police as "non-lethal crowd control" back in 2003 (and who was our yoga teacher's yoga teacher, for what it's worth) has settled with the City of Oakland for $210,000. One of her co-protestors got a settlement of $500,000. You know, this seems remarkably similar to our new obsession, that new game show Deal or No Deal. Speaking of TV shows... guess who's going to be on America's Most Wanted? The cop from the Village People! As you may recall, Victor Willis from Daly City has a bench warrant out for his arrest after failing to show up in court on his coke possession charges. Remember, folks -- the true Macho Man respects the law. The America's Most Wanted episode will probably air around February. And the Merc News ominously intones, "it's beginning to look a lot NOT like Christmas!!!" in a story about two 18-year-olds in Redwood City who've been on a holiday-accessory crime spree this year. Some of their haul included, among other things, a moose-head Christmas wreath that sings "Here Comes Santa Claus." Dude. We are totally going to get ourselves one of those too! ...

Full of more holiday cheer than Santa Claus after a weekend bender in Vegas, Barrespondent Drew returns with more reasons to put down that A-Team DVD your friends gave you for Christmas as a joke and head out to the local. A huge mistake is made by people all over the place every single day. From the largest metropolis to the smallest little craphole in western New Mexico, people are constantly confusing what makes......

Sunday is Easter. Yes, ALREADY! Didn't we just celebrate Christmas? Weren't we just watching creepy Rankin/Bass puppetoon holiday specials mere weeks ago? Ahhh...Puppetoons. Well, fear not egg hunters. Easter is not without its own share of spooky animated specials, and thanks to the folks at the Family Channel, you can catch two this Sunday! At 2:30 p. m. learn about "The First Easter Rabbit" in this traditionally animated special that first aired in 1976.......

Kron-4 is a non-stop laugh riot tonight. The always-adorable Mark Tamayo was wrapping up the weather by reporting that Santa had been sighted leaving the North Pole. A picture of a sleigh flashed on the screen. The following dialogue ensued: Grim-looking News Anchor Guy: "Mark, are we getting those images of Santa Claus by satellite?" Mark, looking confused: "I got them from the Internet."......

Well, we just heard Mariah Carey's "All I Want For Christmas Is You" on the radio the other day (the kickoff song for the season), so it's official -- Santa Claus will be coming to town. And with him comes an assortment of Bay Area secular holiday entertainment -- kittens in the windows of Macy's, the Kristi Yamaguchi ice-skating rink at Justin Herman Plaza, caroling children thrown out of Union Square and then shamefacedly reinvited at the command of Mayor Gavvie Gav to sing at City Hall instead..... and how could we forget? Tap-dancing Christmas trees! The Oakland Trib profiles some of the more unique Bay Area Christmas entertainers, including the 28-member strong tap-dancing Christmas tree troupe, the trumpet-playing gorilla Santa Claus (he dresses up as Vampire Gorilla for Halloween), the Incredible Hulk Santa, and the Nerd Elf, among others. And The Standing Room gives us the lowdown on the itinerate life of the seasonal Dickensian caroler. (Who knew there were four verses of Jingle Bells?) So while you're frantically trying to get all your presents purchased (maybe at some of the stores we're profiling?), don't forget to kick back for a bit and enjoy the scene -- over a cup of scammed free cider from Williams-Sonoma. Pictures courtesy of The Standing Room. Check out that sexy tap-dancing Christmas tree hip-wiggle!...

Whether you plan on celebrating Christmas, Hanukkah, Chrismukkah, Kwanzaa, or Festivus, the month of December blows. Err...we mean the month of December is magical. If you'd prefer to experience some of that magic from the comfort and safety of your own home, we've got a few TV viewing suggestions. Airing tonight on ABC at 8:00 p.m. is that classic celebration of Christmas depression, A Charlie Brown Christmas. Watch the old blockhead attempt to survive......

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