Here's todays sports news...

We've talked about the controversial documentary The Bridge here on SFist before, but for those who couldn't bring themselves to see the film in a theater, you've got your chance for a cozy TV viewing on IFC tonight at 7:30 p.m. and 11:30 p.m. At least at home you can cover your eyes and scream "OH MY GOD!" without bothering a theater full of people. We watched the movie on DVD recently, and that......

In case you haven't heard, tonight, at precisely 12:01, THE VERY FINAL HARRY POTTER BOOK WILL BE RELEASED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OH MY GOD!! OH MY GOD!! OH MY GOD!! And by final, we mean final. The end. Finito. And with it, all the answers to all those pressing questions will be answered: will Harry die? Is Snape good or evil? Will Ron and Hermione finally get it on? And by the way, we just discovered Hermione is in Microsoft Word’s spell check. That’s crazy. ...

-- Using the garbage and junk-drawer debris from oh-my-God real-life celebrities (!), crafty artist Jason Mercier creates jaw-dropping portraits of A- through D-list notables, which range from Parker Posey to Heidi Fleiss. Celebrity Junk Drawer opens tonight starting at 9 p.m. at 111 Minna Galley (at Second St.); admission is free. -- Dance, get trashed, shove something up your nose in the bathroom, shove something up, um, somewhere elsewhere in the bathroom, have a......

We checked our e-mail this morning and saw that OH MY GOD we got an e-mail from Gavin! And what does the Gavster say? That there's much more to governing than "making our government more effective, our economy stronger, our city more tolerant, and our lives a little easier." And what, pray tell, is that? Listening. ...

So we were watching TV and listening to the wind whip around outside and then the wind got really loud and then everything started shaking and we thought, "hmmm, that's one really strong wind." Then it hit us, OH MY GOD, IT'S A MOTHERF_____ EARTHQUAKE....

Yes, tonight is the State of the Union speech which means it's a good time to do something that doesn't involve watching TV. But to help you survive tonight, here is the Official SFist Care Package. First up is a parody of last year's speech. Yes, it's a year old (which is why there's a fat guy sitting behind the President when tonight there'll be our Little Nancy) but we never saw it and......

Oh, who cares about news when the title of the NEXT HARRY POTTER BOOK HAS BEEN ANNOUNCED. OH MY GOD! OH MY GOD! OH MY GOD! WE'RE SO EXCITED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! All right, enough of that. ...

Remember Assemblywoman Bonnie Garcia? She was the one Arnie was referring to when he made those comments about Latina women? And who later appeared at his side when he apologized to give him cover? Well, maybe there was more to it than that because on Sunday, she sent out a statement apologizing for telling a group of school kids that she wouldn't kick the Governator "out of her bed." ...

We were sitting at our desks playing on the computer (cough...surfing porn...cough...) when things start shaking and rolling. At first, we thought it was just some big huge gust of wind, something that can occasionally cause some rumbling. But when it didn't quite stop and picked up in intensity, we began to we realize it wasn't quite the wind and something else and should we then get under something like the coffee table or underneath or a door frame and OH MY GOD IT'S AN EARTHQUAKE AND WE'RE ALL GOING TO DIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ...

We were all set to do a follow-up on Barry's Big Nothing but OH MY GOD WHAT THE HELL HAS GOTTTEN INTO THE GIANTS? First they rallied from 6-1 to win yesterday and tonight...tonight, well, tonight they put together what Statheads refer to as an "ass whumping," beating the Padres, 9-3. We're talking striking for a rare and always-impressive back-to-back-to-back (and almost another -back) home run barrage, started off by the Barry himself, who hit 722. He was followed in quick succession by the so hot right now Ray Durham and Pedro Feliz. But wait, there's more! Omar Vizquel pulled off a suicide squeeze (scoring Wynn) and the New Kid on the Block, Chad Santos, hit his very first home-run, a two run shot. He also made a few nice plays in the field. ...

Ah, it’s raining today and for those of us working, nothing quite sums up the first day back after the holidays like it being grey and miserable outside. It looks like it’s going to be grey and miserable for awhile as five-day forecasts call for rain, rain, and more rain. When it rains, there’s nothing quite like the high-comedy that comes with watching the local news broadcasts as they spend what always feels like......