Results tagged “norvturner”

Playoff football. Thank goodness. O, blessed entertainments... commence!

The first couplet of games come to us from the still sun-kissed southwestern parts of the nation: Arizona and San Diego. Non-wintry wintertime excitement ahoy!

* Atlanta vs Arizona
Saturday, January 3, 1:30 PM PST
Wild Card 2009
The N00bs' Battle

The Arizona Cardinals haven't been in the playoffs since 1998. The oldest franchise in the NFL has seen a lot of suffering over the last couple decades, shackled to a notorrriously penny-pinching ownership. Things have turned around in last five years as the Bidwell family has opened up the pursestrings. Brand new stadium and hiring Head Coach Ken Whisenhunt from PIT as steps toward an actual long term solution have seen the Cards grow from doormat to sleeper to (ZOMG) this year's NFC West champs.

Poor Cal-- so close yet so far. Our theory about what happened is that the idea of Cal having the #1 ranked team in the country was so crazy that even in this year (decade, actually) of sports craziness, the God of Sports deemed that just too crazy and set the upset in motion. Of course, we're also looking at the Rockies in the World Series, so whadda we know?

-- Alameda County judge tells Berkeley tree squatters, like the scrappy Ninjah and Stork here, to climb down. For good. [SFGate]

Here's todays sports news

This morning, ESPN's Len Pasquarelli is reporting that "sources" say that the 49ers' prized offensive coordinator Norv Turner will be the new coach of the San Diego Chargers, to which we say noooooo.

-Stanford men lose to Washington State, Cal men lose to Washington.

There's a whole bunch of golf stuff out there which we are going to skip entirely as we hate golf.

-So much for getting into first place: the Sharks are thrashed by the Ducks, 7-4.

-The Warriors get blown out by the pathetic Atlanta Hawks. Hello lottery pick?

R.I.P Barbaro.

-Warriors get 40 in the first quarter, then shoot the lights out in a 131-105 win at home. Mark Purdy isn't going to jump on the Warriors bandwagon just yet.

Miss Monta Ellis' last minute shot two nights ago? Here it is.

We told you, Colts vs. Bears in the Super Bowl. Man, we knew we should have gone to Vegas. Anyways, we're happy with the game, not necessarily because it'll be a good game, but because it's two of the original NFL teams with great traditions and great, traditional uniforms. How could you not love a game that harkens back to the 50's and 60's?

We're starting to see a pattern emerge with both teams. The Raiders start well but can't finish and the Niners start slowly but finish strong. Which is what happened yesterday as the Raiders were actually up 13-7 at halftime, only to give up 27 straight points to their Bay Area counterparts. The key was a Niners D that grabbed four interceptions and returned a fumble for a TD. They did such a good job that Raiders QB Andrew Walter was replaced by Marques Tuiasosopo in the fourth quarter. The other hero for the Niners day was Frank Gore who rushed for 134 yards and Marvelous Norv Turner who was given the game ball for beating up on his old team.

Norv Turner, late of our Raiders, now has been hired to be our 49ers' offensive coordinator. Please, remain calm. Now, before anyone leaps to the logical conclusion that this is a very, very bad idea, let us consider the possibility -- however unlikely -- that this may be a good idea.

In a move pretty much expected by everyone, the Rai-duhs today fired head coach Norv Turner. Turner was the coach for only two seasons, but managed to suck in both of them. Well, okay, that's a little harsh. Let's just say the team sucked in both of them, going 9-23 over the past two years. And it might not be all of Norv's fault as already, the stories are being leaked about Al constantly looking over his shoulder and telling him what to do. This year was an even bigger disappointment as the team was expected to maybe not get to the playoffs but to at least be fairly entertaining when they signed both Randy Moss and LaMont Jordan in the off-season. They were neither. In fact, from an offensive standpoint, they were pretty awful, coming in as only the 21st ranked offense in the NFL.

Oh, God, what an awful, excruciating, painful, embarrassing weekend of football. We don't think we've ever been more pissed off come Monday at the doings of the NFL than we are today. How could we ever bench Eli Manning for Brad Johnson? What the hell were we thinking? Why should we ever listen to those "Fantasy Football Gurus" who claim to know what the hell they are talking about?

As we look ahead to week 14 of the 2005 NFL season we see a pretty dreadful slate of games featuring the hometown teams. So we tried to think of a compelling reason why you should watch the games this weekend instead of going out with your homies to see the "gay cowboy eating pudding movie" (you know you want to) and we actually were able to come up with a few things.

Yes, Rai-duh fans, we have ourselves a full-fledged QB controversy as yesterday, in his press conference, Norv Turner said that he was maybe, sort of, possibly thinking about benching Kerry Collins and replacing him with sportswriters' worst nightmare, Marques Tuiasosopo. Said Marvelous Marv Turner: "We're going to look at the quarterback thing, the quarterback situation, and say, 'Hey, is it time to look at Tui? With his mobility, would that help us?"

Jackson is out this week, face-down on the floor somewhere after drinking too much egg nog.

The Oakland Raiders manhandled the Buccaneers, beating them far more mercilessly than the 30-20 score would indicate. This was obviously a payback game for the humiliating loss they suffered at the hands of the Bucs in Super Bowl XXXVIII. The game was marked by moments both bitter and sweet - sweet to see longtime Raider Tim Brown catch his 100th touchdown in Oakland, bitter when former league MVP, Quarterback Rich Gannon, went down with a cracked vertebrae, likely sidelining him until November or December. Luckily backup Kerry Collins looked good negotiating Norv Turner's offense, and will lead the Raiders against the Texans in Houston next Sunday.