Before hitting the sundry of top-notch hilarity littering San Francisco during the 7th Annual SF Sketchfest - i.e., the sad clowns making funny - be sure to stop by tonight's opening party. No really, it's well worth the price of admission. And then some. They have Aimee Mann, Kristen Schaal (aka the girl from Flight of the Conchords), Paul F. Tompkins, Todd Barry, Rhys Darby, and DJs Skip & Shindog on-hand to perform. Plus, you'll have the chance to get wasted near other comedic types. And as we all know, alcoholism runs wild within the bloodstreams of stand-up comedians. Amateur night for substance abusers and comics this is not.

In addition to tonight's kickoff bash, stay tuned to SFist for SF Sketchfest giveaways, info, dates, and more. Much more. The 18 day comedy festival will run January 10 - 27, where during that time you can chortle, snicker, guffaw at such hysterical luminaries as Bob Odenkirk, Doug Benson, the Kids in the Hall, Neil Patrick Harris, Rachel Dratch, Patton Oswalt, Upright Citizens Brigade, and more. Much, much more.

What: Opening Night Variety Show and Party for SF Sketchfest
Where: Mezzanine
Time: 8 p.m.
Cost: $30-50

Why does every radio station go on commercial break at the same time? Is it some sort of conspiracy in which Clear Channel makes it so you won't be able to switch to another station because they’re all doing commercials too? If you were a radio station, wouldn't it make sense to stay on when every other radio does commercials just to lure all the people who flip through channels?

Blazers 109 Warriors 91- So much for all that good mojo gained from the Spurs victory. Playing against one of the hottest teams in the league (Jesus, just think how good the Blazers would be with Oden), the Warriors didn't do much of anything. As the saying goes, or should go, as Davis does so does the Warriors and Davis only scored four points. The Warriors have now lost three out of four, all against Western Conference foes.

-There has been one local franchise that’s been quiet lately so we checked in to see what was happening with the Giants and discovered that well…umm…uh….nothing is going on. Is Sabes on vacation?

-We started watching "Friday Night Lights" over the weekend and we have to say it's a great show. However, the show touches on one of our huge sports movie/tv show pet peeves in that every game features an unbelievable rally consisting of completely unbelievable plays. We hate when that happens and it’s particularly jarring on "FNL" because the show is so realistic in almost every aspect. It's like watching "the Wire" (and yes, we're obsessed about it lately) and having every scene involving the Major Crime Units going after Marlo or Stringer Bell feature a car chase and gun shoot out through downtown Baltimore.

It all started so positively, with Joe Thornton, Milan Michalek, Craig Rivet, and Marleau signing contract extensions, and the team eager to rectify their playoff collapse the previous spring. The team has played maddeningly inconsistent since then, though they have a good record, and currently sit atop the Pacific division standings. Much of Sharks fans frustration with this team springs from their atrocious home record this year, where they are 7-9-4 (or, to translate, where they have only won 7 of 20 games). On the road,
however, the Sharks are one of the top teams in the league, with a record of 16-3-2. That's why we can say that this team is "maddeningly inconsistent" while sporting a winning record and being in first place in their division.

Why call out Patty Marleau for the team's failings? Firstly, well, he's the captain, and therefore he, fairly or not, takes on the sins of the entire team. Secondly, he has, to put a fine point on it, sucked this season. At home. On the road. Night games, day games, games played on days that end in "y." Statistically, he's flirting with career lows in goals, points, plus/minus, and shooting percentage, and he's playing his tenth year in the NHL. His disinterested and distracted demeanor on the ice sure hasn't helped make the fans forget his lack of offensive production.

-- Unsilent Night: New York-based composer Phil Kline’s holiday concert creates "an outdoor ambient music piece for an infinite number of boomboxes. It’s like a Christmas caroling party except that [you] don’t sing, but rather carry the music, each [member] playing a separate track that is a "voice" in the piece. In effect, we become a city-block-long sound system" So ... there you have it. Tapes and CDs will be handed out to participants. Merry holidays, yo.

Starts tonight at 6:45 p.m. at Dolores Park (at the corner of 18th/Dolores Streets); free.

-- Veronica Klaus' Blue Holiday: Bay Area's own award-winning R&B/cabaret chanteuse joins Josh Klipp, Luke Klipp, and (the melancholically sublime and spot-on) Joshua Bley for an evening of soul and soul-searching tunes.

Starts at 9:30 p.m. at Cafe Du Nord; $16.

-- Can't Stop the Music: Well, this piece of crap film about the Village People almost did. But it has since aged into a fine piece of saccharine entertainment -- "camp," as our forefathers call it -- so be sure to check out this disco-era swan song. Original Village Person Randy Jones makes a special guest appearance/performance. And another added bonus? A young Steve Gutenberg "rollerskating down the streets of New York, dancing to his transistor radio and wearing his corduroy OP shorts." Oh my, indeed. Marc Huestis sure knows how to pick them, doesn't he?

Screens at 7:30 p.m. at the Castro Theatre; $27.50.

-- The 2007 'Stache Bash: The regular world now knows what bears have known for a long time: mustaches are kinda cool. This even will show you just how cool they, in fact, are. Burlesque troupe Kitty Kitty Bang Bang and DJ Ross Hogg's hip hop, dancehall, roots reggae, and dub sounds intertwine with a night of 'stache championing. Tonight's bash will feature a mustache pageant, a beer foam retention test, a mustache haiku competition, and much more. Also, some of the proceeds go to charity. The hairy festivities start tonight at 7:30 p.m. at Rickshaw Stop; $10 (sliding scale).

-- Silent Night (Stellet Licht): Recipient of the Jury Prize at the 2007 Cannes Film Festival, Carlos Reygadas takes a simple tale of indiscretion (i.e., man choosing between two women) and creates a visually astounding piece of work, one that uses quite and natural performances. Reygadas will be in person tonight at 7:30 p.m. at the Yerba Buena Center for the Arts Screening Room; $6-8.

-- Rubicon Sun: (Former?) graffiti artists David Ellis and Doze Green use "drawing, painting, sculpture, music, kinetic movement, sound, light, projection, and film" to bring the world of street art into a fancy-ish gallery. Check it out tonight at 7 p.m. at Fifty24SF Gallery; free.

-- Tubesteak Connection: (Note: We biffed and put this event in yesterday's "SFist Tonight," when in fact it's happening tonight. So... there you have it.) Mel Cheren -- "the Godfather of Disco" and West End Records founder, we're told -- died this past week. In his honor, Bus Station John will lace his DJ sets tonight with "a host of West End / Paradise Garage classics and rarities, as well as hi-nrg favorites from SF's own fabled Trocadero transfer." The music starts tonight at 10 p.m. Aunt Charlie's Lounge; $3.

We briefly introduced you to Maldroid earlier this week but this time we wanted to do a full introduction before the big day. Tickets are still available - you can get them here.

Full given name: Ryan Divine

Hometown: Oakland, Ca

Favorite venue to play in: Mezzanine. Hands down.

Favorite place to go in SF: SFMOMA, Cafe Greco for some cannoli, and the presidential suite at the Sir Francis Drake.

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