Best Live Shows

This might be one of the best shows I've ever been to. The place was jam-packed with testosterone, walls of speakers and pot smoke. I felt like I was trippin' when a really nice group of people, who had taken pity on my short stature, ushered me further and further up towards the stage. It was perfect. Not even the drunk '90s, extreme dude thrashing into everyone could ruin my time, and he was soon escorted out by the bouncers anyway.

The Flaming Lips at the Greek Theater
This was my first time at the Greek, and OMG, what a great show to take my virginity. This happened to be one of the hottest days of the year, so it was nice to have a truly great summer show. The minute Ween came on to open the show, joints lit up throughout the entire crowd. Ween's set was very jammy, and they played too long—over an hour and a half, but when the Flaming Lips finally came on, they were well worth the wait. The orange, bouncing balls and citrus scent shot out into the crowd, along with Wayne Coyne in his zorb, while the various costumed people danced on stage. One of the first things Wayne Coyne commented on was how he had only smelled "this much pot in one other town. That town was Amsterdam, and we were playing at an indoor venue." The orange scented spray came in handy that night.

Built to Spill at Slim's
Doug Martsch's voice and music touch me to the core, and it was great checking out Built to Spill during one of their four sold-out shows at Slim's. Doug Martsch seems like such a straight-up and friendly guy—he was hanging out at the merch booth all night talking to his fans before going on stage. He and his band like to drink non-alcoholic Old Milwaukee. That must be how they've been able to survive so many years of touring. Who knew Old Milwaukee had non-alcoholic beer?

Pictured above is a piece that was whipped up by fabulous collage artist Alexis Mackenzie at November's 111 Minna Sketch Night.

Hey, here's a couple of news flashes for you: on Wednesday night the Warriors won, on the road, by holding a fourth-quarter lead.

That's right, the team's road losing streak of eight games is over after a less-than-convincing 96-95 escape in Boston. Baron Davis carried the Warriors with 31 points and 8 assists, but the Warriors did everything they could to give the game back; it was really an assist from Celtics coach Doc Rivers that gave the Warriors the game. With 24 seconds remaining, timeouts in hand, down by one point, and with the ball, Rivers elected not to call a timeout. Instead, the Celtics ran the only play in their playbook: give it to Paul Pierce and hope for the best. Pierce is a great player, but everybody in the building knew he was going to get the ball, including the five Warriors on the court. They surrounded him and forced a jump ball with just 0.6 seconds left. Game over baby.

So that puts a tiny band-aid on the 1-3 road trip and slightly daubs the road bleeding this year (2-9), but it does nothing to address the Warriors number one problem: REBOUNDING!

It could be a whole new ball game for the Warriors if they'd quit with the little-man's complex and play some size to get rebounds. Graphic from Atarimuseum.com.

This team is getting killed on the boards and it's making every game against every opponent an uphill battle. The Warriors are 24th in the league in rebounding, pulling down a paltry 39.6 boards a game. With opponents averaging 46.3 rebounds per game (rpg), their rebounding differential is by far the worst in the league at -6.7. It's so bad, the next closest team to them in rebounding differential is the Milwaukee Bucks at -5.1. (Side note, the Bucks outribbied the Warriors by 10 boards and won the game when the two teams met earlier this month.) Last year, the Warriors were fifth in the league in boards, collecting 42.3 rpg. They still had an operating deficit, but it was only -2.2 rpg

It gets worse. In losses, the War's are getting out-glassed by almost 8 rips a game; in wins, by nearly 6 per. In December, opponents have averaged 8 boards more per game. Against the Houston Rockets on December 14 in the O-rena, a game they won at the buzzer, the Warriors were outboarded 53-33. Do you think if maybe they had a couple of extra possessions in that game by virtue of a few more rebounds, they mightn't have had to rely on a last-second jumper for the win? Ya' think? On their current road trip, the team has been outrebounded 200-162 and has not grabbed more rebounds than their opponents in a game yet. A 1-3 road trip and 4-7 record for the month are no coincidence.

Okay, yeah, we know, the Giants have to promote the hell out of this sucker as there's not much else to brag about on King Street these days and 2007 is looking even bleaker. But still, blogga please. We're San Francisco. We're a cultured city, one of the Bestest Cities in the World (or so we tell ourselves). We should not act like we're Pittsburgh or Houston or Milwaukee or any city in which anything halfway exciting is worthy of Big Deal status.

Okay, so Groovy Gavin talked about how great it'll be for the city in terms of business and tourism and all that and yeah, that's all good and he's right about that, but really, what's in it for us? The week long Fanfest looks pretty cool and the Home Run Derby could be a hoot considering the Cove, but as we don't have season tickets, we won't be going to the game. Same with most Giants fans. There'll also supposedly be all these killer parties that will be going on around the time of All-Star game, but as we're nobodies, the closest we'll get to going to them is reading about them in Rita's recap of the Swells Column. Oh, and a for the All-Star Game itself, despite it's tag line of "This Time It Counts," all we can say is yawn. The game hasn't been exciting or Must-See in years (if anybody asks, we think they should play the starters for the whole game and make it a real All-Star game, but nobody asks us).

And you know what? Frankly, after the World Cup, we're a little jaded about these so-called big sporting events. Unless some sporting event features tiny African nations, residual bad blood from wars of the previous century, and the possibility of somebody head butting somebody else, we just don't care.

Actually, if there was any chance A-Rod would head but Roger Clemens during the game, we just might reconsider.

Considering Barry's love of drama and his love of hitting most of his momentous home runs here at Whatever-the-hell-it's-Named-Park, it'll be a good bet that he’d hit both 715 and 716 this week. What'll make it especially better is that Dusty Baker's Cubs are here for three games and then it's a three game home stand against, yep--who better?-- the LA Dodgers. Beat LA!

In Giants-land, this is a big deal and there's already much anticipation about what the scene in McCovey's Cove will be like this week. If the weather is good this weekend and he's still at 714 or 715, this weekend will be pretty nutso, which is kind of what we're hoping for as we got bleacher tickets to Saturday's game.

In the rest of the country, however, it's a different story, as most people appear to be having that mixture of resignation and dread that people felt about the birthing of Spederline Baby #1. In Philly, Barry blasting #714 drew loud boos and chants of steroids, but only after much gawking and excitement. Bud is nowhere to be found this week, preferring Milwaukee to the Bay Area this absolutely beautiful spring-like week. The official stance is that this is merely the passing of #2 on the Home Run list and that it's really Henry Aaron's record that deserves something, a fairly logical point in some ways. But in some ways, not. Hammerin' Hank may have the record, but the Babe has the Myth. Babe Ruth is baseball and to surpass the Babe in career home runs is a pretty big deal. Bud's decision is booed by some, cheered by others.

Us, well our prediction is that no matter what happens, it won't happen on Saturday. We've missed 500, 70, and 600 by a day. We expect our streak to continue.

It looks like Bud Selig's Barry Bonds voodoo doll is working as last night, before the Giants 2-0 victory over the Brewers, Barry was bonked on the head by a foul ball in batting practice. After all, having Barry hit 715 in the Home of Bud would be the worst possible PR debacle, not to mention total karma. The ball was hit by rookie Kevin Fransden, already making a name for himself with his bone-headed base-running blunders and propensity for being hit by pitches, who joked that he was expecting his locker to be cleared out after batting practice was over. The whole thing was so weird and out-of-nowhere that nobody reacted or did anything until Barry went down on the ground and was treated by the Giants' trainers.

Bruce Jenkins' writes that with Barry two behind the Babe, the Curse of the Bambino is rearing it's ugly head again. Deadspin, meanwhile, goes with the obvious "Seinfeld" reference and jokes that it's further proof that Barry's got a big head. We tried looking for the video of it, but couldn't find one. KTVU, however, does have the entire thing in freeze-frame style.

While Milwaukee fans have been rather mellow in their Bonds hating, up next is Philadelphia, a place that makes the Lion's Den seem like a quant little tea party. There's an actual internet campaign brewing in Philly to have fans head for the concession stands every time Barry is at bat. We'd like to see that actually, as we all know deep down, everybody wants to see the dude hit. Besides, having been to the stadium in Philly, we know that most of the concession stands, or at least the super-important one's (read super yummy Rick's Cheese Steaks) is so close to the field of play that people in line occasionally have to dart out of the way of home run balls. We're not sure if heading to those concession stands would count.

From Milwaukee to Israel to Australia, you can visit them all from the comfort of your theater seat right here in SF. We've got three shows and one festival for you this week, and one of them is absolutely free. Thing is, you actually have to read this whole column, and not just this paragraph, to get to the free stuff. We know, there's always a catch.

at American Conservatory Theater
We just love hearing about schoolteachers who hit it big. It gives us hope that one day our high school English teacher will crawl out of the beleaguered California public school system and rise to the heights of, say, Princess Diana...or Sting...OK, bad examples. Playwright William Gibson has a knack for glorifying teachers. First he churned out The Miracle Worker -- you know, the Helen Keller story that's a staple of community theaters everywhere. More recently he took on the story of Golda Meir, a Russian-born Milwaukee schoolteacher who became Prime Minister of Israel in 1969. Coined the "Iron Lady" of Israeli politics, Meir was one of two women to sign the Declaration of the Establishment of the State of Israel in 1948 and had a series of intense government posts, though her PM career was somewhat eclipsed by the Yom Kippur War. Brief history lesson over. Actress Tovah Feldshuh, who originated the role in this solo show and garnered a 2004 Tony nomination for it, returns for this engagement at A.C.T., thus sparing us the sight of Valerie Harper, who takes up the national tour in October. Previews begin on Saturday.