We were at work, surfing the Web when we noticed that Wonkette just posted some crazy story that Sean Penn is offering Matt Gonzalez $5 million dollars to run against the Gavster. Apparently, Sean would give Matt the money if Matty G. switched to the Democratic Party. What, Sean doesn't think a naked guy and a man named Grasshopper are good enough candidates? ...

-The Governator has a health care plan and the Chron breaks it down. Arnie's actually getting good press from this, except with these guys. Or these guys. ...

-The Governator wants to bring bipartisanship back. -He's also out of the hospital. -Fog City Journal has the latest rumors on who'll run against Gavin. We have no idea what Matty G's quote means either. -Your total # of deaths homicides in SF this year? 85. -If a bloodhound goes missing, who do they send out to look for it? -The NFL gives the Niners thumbs up for their move to Santa Clara. -When the......

Nancy Pelosi maybe the second most powerful Dem in the country, but that doesn't mean she's getting any love from us hometown folks. For some, it's because if it wasn't for the fact she was constantly referred to as a "San Francisco Liberal" most of us wouldn't know she was our Congressman (Congresswoman? Congressperson? Congresswomyn?). For others, it's because she hasn't used her position as minority leader of a minority party to end the war, impeach the President, AND pass laws only allowing dolphin free tuna. As a result, progressive types have started up a movement to draft up Matt Gonzalez to run against Pelosi. Because nothing makes progressives swoon more than when the Shaggy Haired One bats his big, beautiful eyes in their direction. ...

After months of debate, San Francisco finally can legally go to pot (only with doctor’s approval, of course)-- we have our first ever codified marijuana dispensaries laws. Yay!!! Yesterday, the Board of Supes unamiously voted to agree to the latest version of the legislation which had been revised by Supervisor Ross Mirkarimi in order to address the latest round of concerns. Included in the new rules are limiting the amount of pot each person can......

So late Friday we get an email reminder about a San Francisco People's Organization party at 111 Minna. You may have read about them in the Guardian a few weeks ago (though we won't blame you if you skipped it and chose to read about carless camping instead), or maybe are planning on attending their founding convention on Saturday. Well, little did we know that not only was it a chance for the city's......

As compelling as the season finale of "The Bachelor" is, wouldn't you rather spend tonight doing something a little less lame? Our friends at Porchlight have been running their monthly series of 10-minute note-free themed evenings for a bit, and the buzz just keeps growing (from the junebugs or the hipsters, we're not sure). Tonight's event is entitled "Why Don't You Kill Me: Tales of Complete Loserdom", and features our boys Matty G and......

New pictures for those of you who hate anarchy! Last week's winner, the Guardian: Okay, this has been bugging us since, well, forever -- why is the SFBG editorial page always exactly the same as the local news section? Is newsprint really that cheap? Just askin'. An adorable picture of Matty G. to illustrate the excesses of Superintendant Ackerman's new contract, and a First Amendment kerfuffle with sfgov.org over pulling its online video of the Building Commish kerfuffle. Cover article: secret military bases. A close reading of the new Patricia Unterman Food Lovers of SF book by Paul Reidinger (SFist Cedric, check it out!) Loving the childlike in the music scene. And hiking in France. (hmmm?) Last week's almost-winner, the East Bay Express: Awesome compare/contrast with the frat guys who shot the pledge with BBs and the rowdy countercultural dorm. CafePress! Cover article: keeping Jews off juries in Alameda County? Local hip-hop and the power that was the Nine Inch Nails show. And Savage Love: Dan will not be coining a disgusting term for "fristing" like he did for "santorum." (However, if you've got suggestions, post away in the comments!) The SF Weekly and the weekly of the week after the jump. ...

It's no Smash The State, but friend of SFist Windy Chien (isn't that the best name ever?) tipped us off that our boy Matty G (and before you ask, we DO have a woody for Matt, big time) has been joined in his art-loving ways by Supervisor Ross Mirkarimi. Mirkarimi will be kicking off his monthly art shows (it's there, scroll down) in his office this Friday March 18 from with Teresa Norris's The......

Dear Gavin, We know that you're recently single. And okay, we can accept that the hot, SF-appropriate love affair we were hoping for between you and Matty G just isn't in the cards. Still... PARIS HILTON?!?! Why does she have your number, Gavin? Or, should we call you "Newson, San fran gavin"? Are you cheating on us?! With HER? Oh, my god. We are so totally going to have to ho's... um, we mean......

...all of which we picked up at Oakland's 24 hour newsstand! Starting with last week's winner, the Weekly -- a genius Photoshop cover of Matty G. reclining on a Getty-like carpet. So genius it's replacing the picture of the car running over the Weekly box (but only for this week!). Photo credit to Darrick Rainey. Mr. Rainey, we shake your hand in congratulations! This illustrates the cover article on "2004: Gonzalez's First Year As Mayor." Surely you remember Matty G's triumphant inauguration – and the scandal that broke out when he allowed hipsters to marry! And those quotes from the New Yorker Matty profile: "Almost everyone in San Francisco knows a small black child who has been shielded from a hail of bullets by Gonzalez." SFist Chesh, you'll be pleased by the fastidious font replications seen here, and SFist Jon, we're sure you'll find the Chron columns shown entirely typical. ("Sports: Bruce Jenkins is on vacation"). You know, after wiping away our tears of laughter, we find that we have nothing more to say about the rest of the paper. Picture of Al-Gore-fat loser Gavin Newsom!!!! Ha!!!! (SFist Jackson, we hope you get home before this issue is yanked from the stands -- it's that good.) On a soberer note, the Guardian. A slew of defensive corrections about last week's coverage of the development freeze in Potrero Hill. There's a protest next Tuesday at 4 pm at City Hall against raising MUNI fares. Annalee Newitz is worked up about the FCC and cable modems. Paul the food critic got a free meal when his chicken was underdone at Foggy Bottom Cafe on Irving and Eighth. Cover article: This year in movies (obscure art-flick edition). The EBX and the weekly of the week (like you don't already know which one it is) after the jump. ...

In all the hubbub about Bush's "mandate," new dark allegations about possible voter fraud in Florida and Ohio, and general wailing about the death of the Democratic party, it's easy to forget the usual state of liberal-on-liberal violence in our very own home town! We've gotta keep an eye on these things -- since the local government's all we've got left now! So in general, on the supervisor races, it was a good day......