Danielle Steele, Vanessa & Bill Getty, Trevor & Alexis Traina, and Serge & Tatiana Sorokko are wealthier than you, punk. "A San Francisco family is looking for a personal assistant / household manager to join our team on a long term basis." Are you that someone? But wait, there's more: in addition to joining a family that refers to themselves as a "team," you--a "highly poised, polished, professional, and articulate" cad--will also conduct interviewing,......

SFist Rita is on a well-deserved holiday break so we apologize ahead of time for this week's suckage. Total number of people pictured in this week's Swells society column: Too many to count. It's the "Cotillion" Edition Total number of people pictured whose names we recognize: One. Danielle Steele. Minority count: Zero. It's the Cotillion-- like there'd be any minorities. Hats, capes, tiaras: Zero, Zero , and two tiara/wood nymph type things, although one picture......

Total number of people pictured in this week's Swells society column: 67. Number of people pictured whose names we recognize: 8 (Trainas, Gettys, and figures in local politics only, including on-the-way-out Steve Kawa). Minority count: 4 (6%). Hats, capes, tiaras: 0, 0, 0 (but Gavin's hair looks a little funny). Getty v. Traina: 6-12. It's Dede Wilsey's Christmas party, that's why!!! Dede had laryngitis but wore Chanel and had the best hors d'oeuvres in town......

Since we have to lead with anything Journey here at SFist, check out the YouTube clip of the ad for Atari's "Journey Escape" we found on Kotaku. Avoiding (pixelated representations of) crazed fans and manipulative music industry types never looked so fun! Buy it now! If espionage is more your game, then the cloak-and-dagger shenanigans at HP should be up your alley. Even reporters were entangled in the web of lives spun to discredit......

We had so much fun with our first caption contest that we're doing it again! What in the Sam Hill is going on here between Gavin Newsom and girlfriend Sofia Milos, at Danielle Steele's party for the Nick Traina Foundation? Post your captions in the comments; best caption wins unspecified prizes! The picture is from this Sunday Swells society column. The caption given by the ever-diplomatic Chronicle is "The GavLos share a tender moment." We......

About a month ago, everyone's favorite San Francisco homeboy, Robin Williams, thought he'd do something civic minded and gave the Department of Public Works a gift of $80,000. The money was supposed to go to repairing a retaining wall and median strip on Seacliff Avenue near his crib. Win-win for everyone involved, including San Francisco, right? Err, no. This is San Francisco after all. During a vote on whether or not to accept it, possible......

A weekly peer into the San Francisco bar scene through a big pair of coke bottle-thick beer goggles. Submitted as usual by barrespondent Drew. Some people complain that we don't get down to the Marina enough. Totally guilty as charged. And this is even after assurance from residents that it's not all backwards baseball caps, sorority get-togethers and small-plates restaurants. Yes, the Marina probably does get a bad rep from those of us trying......

So we had to go put our tale of "San Francisco Secret Service" callback woe up on Scott Stereogum's post requesting stories of calling the numbers in Paris Hilton's hacked Sidekick. While there, we noted that her friend "Nessie Traina," AKA Vanessa Traina, daughter of local romance novelist Danielle Steele, was also listed. She was last spotted at Fashion Week in New York. Of course, the number is a 310 number, which means she's......

We'd like to point out that our fair state's evil anti-smoking laws have finally struck the Lone Palm -- we were told no more smoking last night. Almost makes us wanna move to a nice, tolerant red state where we can smoke and drink away our sense of impending doom like a normal human being. We had two new weekly features debut this week - the Trimethyldioxypurist will be bringing you slightly jittery thoughts......