On Sunday, August 25th, San Francisco's edition of National Go Topless Day arrived on a sunny and humid day in Dolores Park. The event was billed as an opportunity for men to cover up their nipples and women to unbutton with impunity, all in the name of equal topless rights. (Which, again: going topless is perfectly legal in San Francisco.)

In a way, equality definitely happened this afternoon as only two female participants showed, their numbers perfectly matched by the two male participants who stripped down to their cutesy brassieres and knitted dong socks.

Meanwhile, in New York: the East Coast event was better attended. Los Angeles also had a big topless turnout in Venice Beach.

This Sunday, August 25th local breasts will break free of their lacy shackles and fight back against an unjust patriarchy that denies everyone an equal right to public nipple exposure. It is National Go Topless Day and there will be boobs.

Go Topless Day falls on the Sunday closest to Women's Equality Day, which is a real, Congressionally recognized day that we would have known about earlier if there had not been such a gender imbalance in our culture. On Sunday, women across the country will stand up for their inalienable, Rael-given right to go topless in public.

Going topless is actually legal in San Francisco, even under our draconian nudity ban, so the event should be more of a celebration than a protest. And, of course, there's always the outside contingent of lookie-loos making things a little bit creepy. Also worth noting: last year, the Go Topless contingent joined forces with the Nudity is Free Speech folks to protest Scott Wiener's legislation. So, don't be surprised if a few naked dicks show up to flop around as well.

Sunday, August 25th
12 noon - 3 p.m.
Dolores Park
18th Street & Dolores St.

You can keep your Channing Goslings, Hollywood. We would be more than happy to spend the rest of our life only watching movies that feature Paul Rudd as the romantic lead. Or as the wacky neighbor. Or as the evil racist rapist villain. Or as a dust bunny. Yes, we would pay non-matinee prices to see Paul Thomas Anderson's four-hour epic Dust Bunny featuring Josh from Clueless. This is how much we enjoy Rudd. And so should you, really. In addition to being the greatest non-actor-y actor in films today, he's also charming (and good looking) both on and off screen. Take, for example, his recent turn on Rookie's monthly segment, called "Ask a Grown Man."

He answers several questions sent in by Rookie's teen girl readership. And his advice is tender, humorous, and overwhelmingly joy-inducing.

"It's a good question, and I'm sure there's some kind of biological explanation, such as sustenance and when we were babies...breast milk kept us alive. There's also the thing of, we don't have them. So they're just interesting," Rudd says while answering a question about why guys like boobies. "Maybe it's a combination of those two [reasons]. And then a third, maybe, just because they're awesome."

Paul Rudd also looks like he maintains super fresh breath. We like that in a man.

The newly minted dating advice expert recently appeared in San Francisco as part of the annual SF Sketchfest. SFGate's Beth Spotswood was there. She'll tell you all about it.

[Rookie]

SFist shared this with you in the past -- because grade school humor is the best kind of humor -- but the "two o'clock titty" always deserves another look. Chortle.

A group that bills itself as the Marin Breastfeeding Coalition has started an unusual campaign in Marin County to get women to breastfeed their babies. In the next coming weeks, life-sized cardboard cutouts of woman breastfeeding will be put up across the North Bay, with cutouts of the making their debut this week at The Village shopping center in Corte Madera. (To check out images of the ads, go here and here.)

Lactation consultant and coalition member Susan Martinelli had this to say:

"Breastfeeding is recognized as the standard for infant feeding by all major health organizations ... milk provides the best nutritional, immunological and emotional nurturance for the normal growth and development of babies. No manufactured formula offers anything close."

What's more, breastfeeding keeps you thin. Or so we hear.

While this sounds like a nifty campaign -- although we must remember that not all babies can suck from their mother's tit, so no shame to the mommies out there who do not breastfeed -- it does have a disturbing disclaimer. Each cut-out figure has a sign that reads, "When breastfeeding is accepted, it won’t be noticed."

This just isn't going to happen. If you breastfeed in public YOU need to be okay with the occasional turn of the eyes. Really, you have your boob out and a baby attached to it, and although there's nothing wrong or unnatural about that, you will get looks. You will. That's just how men (and a few randy ladies) are.

Yesterday's Up Your Alley Fair is what the Folsom Street Fair used to be before all the tourists pushing baby strollers started showing up. More than 8,000 leather daddies -- and as many as perhaps a dozen biological women -- braved the cold fog wearing little more than a gimp mask and a smile to benefit PAWS, the AIDS Emergency Fund, and others. We tried to limit the amount of naked penis visible in these shots, but in that kind of environment there's only so much a photographer can do. The fully-lubed, unexpurgated photoset can be can be found at DJTennessee's flickr page, as well as a few over at Nature abhors a vacuum.

Again, if it wasn't already clear, the following images are NSFW. They features such jarring imagery as naked breasts, Viagra-infused erections, naked Twister, and Frank Chu possibly exploring his sexuality. You've been warned. Enjoy.

Gee, this is rich. At a sci-fi conference in Michigan recently, some gent kindly created a system that allowed women to easily express permission for men to fondle them -- what an altruist! And his remarkable, breathtaking, totally unforeseeable discovery: people feel uncomfortable when they are asked to publicly specify their preferred level of anonymous sexual contact.

This is how the guy explained his project:

I wish this was the kind of world where say, 'Wow, I'd like to touch your breasts,' and people would understand that it's not a way of reducing you to a set of nipples and ignoring the rest of you, but rather a way of saying that I may not yet know your mind, but your body is beautiful.

Now, if you really want to tell someone that they're beautiful, you can say, well, just that. We have to think that women would rather hear "you're beautiful" than "can I do something that would violate the boundaries of any healthily socialized individual."

Oh my.

Here we have a shot of a protester taken at Saturday's CoS protest at the Washington/Columbus/Montgomery intersection. Since we found it at encyclopediadramatica, we have to ask: real or fake?

For all of you randy readers, the NSFW version, complete with visible areolas and such, can be found after the jump. Enjoy.

Artist Mark Mulroney lives and makes art in Berkeley but hails from Dutton, PA. He came over to the Bay to teach at the San Francisco Art Institute and participate in an economy in which he will never be able to afford a home while he continues to pursue his studio career. Mark's older work looks like construction sites for Dr. Seuss landscapes but painted with the exquisite line of Hans Belmer and the slightly toned down palette of
John Wesley. Mark's recent work is a successful jog into kitsch iconography using the kitschiest of mediums, the airbrush, along with his nimble brush. He continues to mine objects of desire and his childhood as a devout Catholic for content. His new show entitled "What Fits in Your Mouth, Doesn't Always Fit in Your Stomach" will
have a reception open to the public and free of charge this Thursday at Gregory Lind Gallery from 5:30-7:30pm. Mark's work can also be seen on his webpage and at the NYC gallery,Mixed Greens.

Why is Lou Reed irrelevant?
Because no one wants to hear a rich over the hill rock star sing about being a poor junky living in New York. Nobody cares about his boring stories.

What or who else is irrelevant?
I am pretty sure Chevy Chase is not doing so well.

Describe your art:
It is a bit like the season finale of the show "SeaQuest"

What's your take on the Bay Area Art scene?
Let's get over Diebenkorn already.

Any advice for aspiring artists out there?
Make whatever you'd like to look at or experience and don't try and guess what others will like or what the market wants. Work towards a lifelong career as an artist and stop worrying about who is more famous than you

What's it take to get representation is this town and is it even worth it?
Ultimately I believe that if you are having a hard time finding a gallery the first place to look is at your work If you have good work the gallery opportunities will present themselves as for whether it is worth it or not it can be good but SF does not get the attention that NY or LA can provide an artist so if I were looking to get into a market I
might devote most of my efforts towards one of those markets first.

Something people don't often get noticed or appreciated about my art is?
My best work is often the pieces that seem really stupid at first

Favorite local gallery?
There is this little diner in the Sunset that hangs drawings done by customers and such and they have some really great work there. I suppose it is not officially a gallery but I always enjoy looking at the work

Best art show you've seen here?
Shalo Penuela and Homero Hidalgo at Meridian Gallery a year or so ago.

What are some influences on your work?
My grandma, cowboy comics, weegee, John Zorn, naked ladies (boobs), all things proper and Catholic, Lucy, my nephews, Cyrus and Arlo

Casey Smith, Contributing

The week between Xmas and New Year's always makes us into shut-ins. Plus, it's raining, like, all the time. We're broke. We're pervs. And there's nothing on TV.

But wait: there is. Something very... weird. Yeah, Comcast has made us all its bitch, but now it looks like there might be something worth taking the cable conglomorate's pain for the past year. Starting in October, Seattle's bizarro obsessive film collection company Something Weird Video struck a deal with Comcast to offer a new lineup of Something Weird selections free for the On Demand sections of their exceedingly ugly and sluggish, watch-anytime movie service for digital cable subscribers. Go figure -- revenge of the retro erotica and schlock indies on Comcast (search: weird). So now for free we can laze around watching Bettie Page prance and peel it off in Teasearama, scare ourselves into reefer madness with their hilarious cautionary drug and VD shorts, or watch any number of truly freaky (and utterly laugh out loud bad) films from Something Weird. That also translates into free vintage boobies, on occasion.

Sure, we could watch their paltry selection of "Adult" content, ranging from Jerry Springer to... Jerry Springer. But no one should ever pay-per-view "Top Ten: Big Boobs" or "Hole Inspectors" (though "Shane's Pornological" is recommended). Though we'll admit that Jerry's always, like, totally fun when we're boozing it up with the few friends we have left in town this week -- those not off visiting their relatives in the locales they actually hail from. But even Springer gets tired, and when that happens, no amount of crack helps -- which is why we then must explore the hundreds of songs (!) in the On Demand Karaoke database (search: karaoke).

Or better yet, there's Dating On Demand (in "Life & Home"). That's right, it gets even stranger than fiction, Like Mad TV's Lowered Expectations but for real, there are oodles of singles who have extremely uncomfortable moments on film seeking love in all the wrong places, categorized by age and gender -- the only thing missing is a totally gacked out Rick James impersonator. Sounds like a fun holiday project... we're so all over it.

SFist Violet, contributing.

We're so excited, we can hardly stand it. Two, count them, TWO TV monsters in one evening! What could be better? As we mentioned last week, we love us some Martha, and her daily show has proven that while she may be awful at rapping--and celebrity interviews, and ad-libbing, and speaking a sentence without using an "uh"--she's still got it when it comes to making the people around her feel like ineffectual boobs. And that's just what we want in Martha's version of "The Apprentice", which premieres at 8 p.m on NBC., with re-runs over on CNBC the following night. Martha's daughter Alexis will pose as her Carolyn, and we can hardly wait for that first meeting in...the "conference room"? Oh, Martha. You're such the ! Sadly, there are no locals in her cast of grovellers, despite the auditions that were held locally.