Results tagged “afs”

It's time for American Football Spectacular's capsule reviews of the first round in the 2009 NFL Draft. All the intrigue, all the anticipation, all the measurables! All hard information was culled from NFL.com's pretty excellent draft tracker site. Let's do this.

* Pittsburgh vs. Arizona (in Tampa)
Sunday, February 1, 2009. 3:00 PM, PST.
Super Bowl XLIII
Battle Of The Steelers

Oh, great. SF's semi-rival Arizona Cardinals against the five-ring-holding Stillrrs.

If Arizona wins, our once hysterically hapless divisional foe (now built into an actual team by former Steeler coaches) get a championship for the first time since 1947. If PIT wins, they pull ahead of the 49ers and Cowboys for most total Super Bowl wins. Who to root for in today's game, then? Fuhhhh. It's a Morton's Fork. It's a Kobayashi Maru. It's no fun. What's a Niner fan to do?

Root for the Steelers. Here's why.

Playoff football. Thank goodness. O, blessed entertainments... commence!

The first couplet of games come to us from the still sun-kissed southwestern parts of the nation: Arizona and San Diego. Non-wintry wintertime excitement ahoy!

* Atlanta vs Arizona
Saturday, January 3, 1:30 PM PST
Wild Card 2009
The N00bs' Battle

The Arizona Cardinals haven't been in the playoffs since 1998. The oldest franchise in the NFL has seen a lot of suffering over the last couple decades, shackled to a notorrriously penny-pinching ownership. Things have turned around in last five years as the Bidwell family has opened up the pursestrings. Brand new stadium and hiring Head Coach Ken Whisenhunt from PIT as steps toward an actual long term solution have seen the Cards grow from doormat to sleeper to (ZOMG) this year's NFC West champs.

Defensive end Kevin Fagan and his mighty mustache helped hold the line for George Seifert's boxer's-mentality 3-4 defensive scheme during the zenith of San Francisco's 1980s power.

This Sunday, the current San Francisco 49ers will be honoring the 49ers of the past by wearing mustaches in their final game of 2008 against Washington. We will honor this honor by honoring Great 49er Mustaches as this game draws nigh.

Roger Craig was one of the most versatile running backs the NFL has ever seen.

A perfect fit for Bill Walsh's short-passing offensive system, in 1985 Craig became the first man to gain 1,000 yards rushing and 1,000 receiving in the same season.

This Sunday, the current San Francisco 49ers will be honoring the 49ers of the past by wearing mustaches in their final game of 2008 against Washington. We will honor this honor by honoring Great 49er Mustaches as this game draws nigh.

When Joe Montana first came to the 49ers from Notre Dame in 1979, he brought this fanciful Fu Manchu style with him.

Of course, everything went up from there. Joe grew into the greatest quarterback the NFL has every seen, and the 49ers began their golden age of dominance throughout the 1980s.

Holy living crap, we love this so much!!

This coming Sunday, the 49ers are having a throwback uniform day in the final game of the season as Washington comes to Candlestick.

Word is that the o-linemen got it in their heads to pay tribute to Niners of the past by breaking out throwback mustaches to go with the throwback unis. The glorious idea spread, and now much of the team will be attempting mustaches for the Week 17 matchup as sign of strength of silly solidarity.

The Redskins ain't gonna stand a chance.

* San Francisco vs. St. Louis
Sunday, December 21, 2008. 10:00 AM, PST.
Week 16
The Interim Battle

Remember when battles between the 49ers and Rams would be cataclysmic offensive showdowns to determine ownership of the NFC West?

Yeah, those days are gone for now.

Only a few games left of the NFL's 2008 season and as is customary, the Raiders are in full plummet. The last things that stand to be parsed out are which players are making enough of a name to picked up by other teams next year, which players are playing enough to be kept via Al's calculi for next season, and those that have given up all hope whatsoever.

"We're not close," said Oakland's best player, CB Nnamdi Asomugha, to the Merc after the last week's loss to San Diego, "and it's clear that we're not close. We don't play good football, we don't play sound football, and we have been undisciplined. We wonder why we don't get prime-time games, and this is why. We were on Monday night against Denver, we got blown out. Now, we came here and we got blown out. You just wonder how many people care and how many people are upset. You can't go out and play the way we played and expect to win or expect to do well."

Ouch.

Found by American Football Spectacular's vigilant Kansas City correspondent Kyle Vorak, this mesmerizing image is from last night's TB@CAR ESPN coverage.

People of Charlotte, we say to you: do not be unkind to Steve Young.

As you can see, he is still elusive after years of retirement (and those adorable truck ads that your Mom appreciates).

OK, it has been reported by the NFL Network that the 49ers may offer a position to Secretary Of State Condoleezza Rice

One high-ranking 49ers official said last week, “If she’s interested in talking to us, I’m interested in talking to her.” Rice has told friends as recently as last week she would love to become president of an NFL team.

Should this rumor develop into an actual possibility, you'd best believe that we'll unleash a fusillade of withering criticism at the all-measurable-results-are-failure York family 49er ownership for offering a job to an all-measurable-results-are-failure war criminal. For the Yorks to make such an insane business move... the thought almost defeats all irony. This simply can't be.

After dutifully soaking-in the coverage of Samurai Mike Singletary's promotion to head coach, the unfortunate conclusion becomes: it doesn't matter who San Francisco's head coach is.

The single biggest problem hobbling the 49er brand is that the ownership is inept in overseeing the processes of running a football franchise.