If you are wondering just how insufferable #SanFrancisco has become just read the telephone poles in #Bernalheights pic.twitter.com/rLD8M2Zc0P

— Gordon Young (@FlintExpats) March 23, 2016

"Be present for our kids," these fliers reportedly popping up on Bernal Heights telephone poles read. "Put down your phone. Stop checking email. Limit screen time. Turn off your TV. Read books. Go outside. Enjoy!"

As you can see from the above tweet, the flier's sentiments are ones that SF-based author and Santa Clara University lecturer Gordon Young finds "insufferable."

One respondent to the tweeted photo noted the hand-written "don't tell me what to do" scrawled at the bottom of the flier.

And lest you think that that flier stands alone, here's another pole covered in even more bits of helpful advice:

[h/t Bernalwood]

In these Troubled San Francisco Times, there is a lot of talk about who was here when, and what that does (or doesn't) mean. In an effort to both assist newcomers and take long-time residents down memory lane, we present to you Ask a San Francisco Native, a column penned by SF native and longtime SFist contributor Rain Jokinen, which is inspired by a similar one on our sister site Gothamist, and is intended to put to rest all those questions only a native of this city can answer. Send yours here!

Dear Rain,

I have been in the City since 1998. All the talk about the disappearing diversity has me wondering:

What did the diversity look like in San Francisco when you were young? Was it all mixed up together like today? Or, did you have to go to specific neighborhoods for Chinese food? For gay bars? For sushi?

Cheers!

JC

Dear JC,

Plenty of articles and posts have been written about San Francisco's shrinking minority population, so I'm not going to go into stats and numbers; check out those links for that. But the bottom line is the city's diversity has changed, and it's something I've definitely noticed and felt after a lifetime here.

You mention that the diversity in the city is "all mixed up together" these days, but I'm not sure I agree with that. Yes, it's true that you can find Chinese food, gay bars, and sushi all over the city. But that's different than saying the entire city is now a melting pot of diversity. If neighborhoods that were once primarily of one culture or another are now filled with other types of stores, bars and restaurants, that actually sounds like the opposite of diversity.

I went to nothing but public schools growing up, and San Francisco schools are something I hope to talk about in a future column. But I will say that every school I went to was racially mixed, although perhaps not always as mixed as other schools in the city may have been. My high school — J. Eugene McAteer High School (may it rest in peace) — was home to both a championship football team and the city's only School of the Arts. It was a sometimes insanely crazy mix of kids.

Post high school, in the early 1990's, I lived in the Lower Haight, (in an apartment with closets I still dream about. So many! So big!). Nearby Hayes Valley, at that time, was primarily African American, and filled with restaurants and stores run by African Americans. Walking through the area now, never in a million years would you be able to guess that was once the dynamic in that neighborhood, which is now filled with expensive boutique clothing stores and restaurants the majority of which I would not be sad to see go if it meant the return of Powell's.

Nearby Fillmore and the Western Addition was much the same. True, the lower Fillmore retains a high concentration of African American businesses and homes, but until the late 1980's that used to extend a lot further up the street, past Bush, where you could get some pretty tasty barbecue at Leon's.

(And perhaps this makes it sound like I am just lamenting the general loss of genuine soul food within San Francisco, and yeah, I am. But I'm also lamenting the loss of the locals who once were able to afford to run those places, too.)

The city's gay community had a much bigger neighborhood footprint back in the 1970's and 1980's as well, with numerous bars and clubs to be found south of Market and on Polk Street. In fact, Polk Street was doing the Halloween street party thing before the Castro ever did. I can understand the argument that it's nice that the gay community is more integrated these days, and not relegated to just a couple of neighborhoods, but I also think it's sad that it's getting harder and harder to find an area with block after block of gay businesses. (And Polk Street could sure use some of that these days, let me tell you.)

I spent the first half of my youth in the Mission, and as has been well documented of late, things there have definitely changed. But I will say that in the 1970's (the decade I lived there) through the '80's, there were always non-Hispanic families and businesses within the area, (some of them Irish families that had been there since the neighborhood was primarily Irish). There were punk rock clubs on Valencia Street, a movie theater on 24th Street (The York) that showed English, not Spanish movies, and plenty of bars filled with white 20-somethings. The big difference is that, at least until the late-90's, it felt like a nice co-existence, and much closer to the definition of the word diversity than it has of late.

But here's something that was true decades ago, and is still true now: You'll get the strongest Mai Tai of your life within Chinatown*, but you're gonna have to look elsewhere for the best Chinese food in the city.

Previously:
Ask A San Francisco Native: Did Muni Always Suck?

Rain Jokinen was born and raised in San Francisco and, miraculously, still calls the city home. Her future plans include becoming a millionaire, buying a condo complex, and then tearing it down to replace it with a dive bar. You can ask this native San Franciscan your questions here.

* Editor's note: Mai Tais aren't actually an Asian thing, but the drink was created by "Trader Vic" Bergeron at his East Bay Tiki bar in the 1940s — or, if you believe his rival Don the Beachcomber, it was created a decade earlier by Don in Los Angeles.

In these Troubled San Francisco Times, there is a lot of talk about who was here when, and what that does (or doesn't) mean. In an effort to both assist newcomers and take long-time residents down memory lane, we present to you Ask a San Francisco Native, a column penned by SF native and longtime SFist contributor Rain Jokinen, which is inspired by a similar one on our sister site Gothamist, and is intended to put to rest all those questions only a native of this city can answer. Send yours here!

Dear Rain,

Did Muni always suck? Or was there a time, before Uber and Lyft and tech buses, that it was reliable?

Yours,

Waiting For The 5 Fulton For The Last Hour

Dear WFT5,

I've lived in San Francisco my entire life, and as a result, I've been riding Muni my entire life. In fact, I was born at San Francisco General, and if my parents' apartment hadn't been walking distance from the hospital, there's a pretty good chance my ride home might have been via a Muni bus.

The question of Muni's history of suckitude is one I've pondered on more than one occasion, usually when I've approached the 45-minute mark (or more) waiting at a bus stop. I haven't come to a definitive conclusion, but I think the basic answer is: Muni was never great; it's just that way back when, we couldn't tell how bad it was.

I used to take Muni home from school when I was pretty young, as a grammar school student at Douglas Elementary in the Castro. I'd take the 33 to Potrero and walk the rest of the way home from there, and I never remember being afraid while on the bus. I do remember often chatting with the same friendly bus driver several times a week about the A's and baseball, even though I didn't know much about it, aside from liking my Billy Ball ringer t-shirt a lot. But if I were a parent now, I'm not sure how comfortable I'd be sending my young kid on that — or any — bus line home these days.

But Muni's safety is a separate issue from Muni's service, and when I say we couldn't tell how bad it was back in the day, I mean it. There were no apps or arrival times broadcast at Muni stops. When you got to the bus stop, all you could do was hope that you hadn't just missed one. There was no way to know when (or if) that bus would ever arrive.

Sure, Muni would publish timetable booklets a couple of times a year, and you could grab one for yourself on most buses. But anyone who rode Muni daily knew those timetables were, at best, aspirational. Eventually bus shelters with maps were put into place, and schedules were printed on those (and still are), but anyone who looked at them hoping to figure out when the next bus would arrive was probably a tourist who didn't know any better.

So, while Muni hasn't improved dramatically, I'm not sure it's actually gotten worse. It's just that we can now pinpoint Muni's failings down to the minute, over and over, day after day... month after month... and year after year. Waiting for a bus for 45 minutes sucks any way you look at it, and it's made even worse when you can see there are three more buses set to arrive just a few minutes behind it. But way back when, you'd get on that bus and have no idea just how royally Muni was fucking up.

So, in some ways when it comes to the history of Muni-riding, ignorance really was bliss... Or at least something slightly less infuriating.

Rain Jokinen was born and raised in San Francisco and, miraculously, still calls the city home. Her future plans include becoming a millionaire, buying a condo complex, and then tearing it down to replace it with a dive bar. You can ask this native San Franciscan your questions here.

According to certified San Francisco native Justin Fichelson, a local real estate agent jacking up our housing prices and currently taking a star turn on the new SF season of Bravo's Million Dollar Listing, it's easy to dress for success. You just have to have already succeeded, then you wear your existing success on your literal sleeve.

"The thing about San Francisco is it's now become a mix of old money and uber-big tech titans," Fichelson sagely explains. That's why you gotta spend money to make money, which is to say by wearing suits that cost thousands of dollars. In the first episode of the show, he spends some time at Wingtip in a smoking jacket/robe, just to confirm your suspicions about where he's spending his commissions.

Indeed, Fichelson's fashion palette tends toward "Financial District flashy" and "ultra-Marina douchey," but maybe it's not all bad. After all, most people say that our collective wardrobe in the Bay Area is too full of hoodies and loungewear.

Though Fichelson skirts around those stereotypes, and I do enjoy his last outfit, I think we can agree that he's nobody's fashion icon — just a bit of an enthusiast trying to get our attention. I mean, dude's on reality TV.

Last, Fichelson is remiss to forget the one piece of fashion advice crucial to every San Franciscan, the warning you surely give to all your out-of-town guests. Bring a jacket.

Previously: Video: SF Real Estate Is So Messed Up That It's Now A Bravo TV Show

If you are currently in a relationship, kudos to you, and you may stop reading now. Seriously. Get out.

Okay, now that it's just us single ladies and dudes, allow us just to say, Hey, friends. It's going to be a fine day. No need to get all maudlin, or aggressively anti-Hallmark-holiday about this. Your couple friends are all going to go off and do the boring, requisite things that society has convinced them they must do today to validate their unions, spending money on lame prix fixes and depressing boxes of chocolate. But you have your freedom! The world remains replete with possibility, and the love you will eventually find will be so far superior to all these compromises your friends have made that you'll look back on these lonelier days and laugh. You will laugh loudly and feel wistful about the fact that you ever believed the universe was anything but generous.

But, for now, allow us to do our BuzzFeed-y best and suggest a few things that you absolutely should not do tonight if you know what's good for you. In the interest of preserving your dignity and self-respect, listen closely.

Do Not...

A. Wander a Bookstore By Yourself
Books are amazing, marvelous things. We love books. We hope that reading culture will thrive in the digital age. However now is not the time to go shopping for a new book. You will not find love in that bookstore, you will only find sadness, and people with cathair-covered clothing.

B. Drink By Yourself in an Unfamiliar Place
Let us clarify that drinking by oneself this evening is perfectly acceptable. Nay, it's encouraged. But doing so outside the comfort of one's home, or in a bar you don't frequent where they do not know your name or your emergency contact information, is asking for trouble. At the very least, you should have a friend with you to crack jokes/drown sorrows/pick up the pieces.

Photo: ilovememphis

C. Post Anything on Facebook Whilst (or After) Drinking
That dastardly Facebook iPhone app has made drunken status updates all too tempting and easy, but we cannot stress this enough. Say nothing to your Facebook peanut gallery. Everything that needs to be said can wait until morning when you have a clearer head. Any deep thoughts you have about the idiocy of this holiday, or the people you just passed on the street with their arms interlocked looking intoxicated with their own bliss should be kept to yourself. No one needs to cringe reading something that you think sounds funny and self-deprecating but actually reads as deeply pathetic.

Photo: SimonQ

D. Dine at a Table for One
Who does this? No one. The occasional headstrong older female with her Kindle, perhaps, but not on V-Day. If you must eat out, you can find a convivial bar at which to sit, preferably one where they know you. (See above.)

Photo: Admond

E. Seek Out an Online Hookup
Whether it be OK Cupid, Grindr, or Craigslist, this is not a night for putting out a call for Valentine's Day BJs, or whathaveyou. Tonight is a night for porn. Porn, whiskey, and perhaps a few episodes of Archer. Any hooking up you need to do, like updating your Facebook status, can absolutely wait until tomorrow. And we don't think we need to tell you that this is not a night for first dates, no matter how above-it-all you think you may be. This is Valentine's Day. No one needs that pressure, or that bizarre, sentimental framework for a first date. It won't make for a good story. You're kidding yourself if you think it's going to be totally cool. Just do not do it. For the love of god. Please.

Oh, this looks like fun.

While hogging the Internet today, we came across this Yahoo group for the homeless, which bills itself as a "unique, independent, community based support group, moderated by anonymous homeless and formerly homeless volunteers, in San Francisco, California." It's great. The homeless or lease signers among us can send them tips, blow whistles, upload real photos of meals served in several shelters, see photos of health and hygiene conditions at local tax funded shelters, compare and contrast safety at certain shelters, and much much more.

There's also a nascent blog of said homeless Yahoo group. It's current post? Designer homeless shelters across San Francisco. Cute. So hit your nearest library and check it out.

(And before you headstrong capitalist types chime in, screaming at the homeless folk that they "should get a job" -- 24-karat advice we're sure they've heard ad nauseum -- remember, be kind. Also, a certain amount of homeless and/or impoverish people are critical in order for said favored economic system to work properly. Or something like that. We're sure it's much more complicated that that. Of course. Point being: don't be so mean. That's our job.)

What's your take on the comedy scene in the Bay Area?
I don't live in the Bay Area, but I when i see Bay Area people slip on banana peels, I laugh my head off.

Any advice to aspiring comedians?
Don't say, "Sorry," after your punch lines.

What makes a joke funny?
Incongruency. (I read that when I was in college and first interested in comedy. It's still the biggest word I know.)

Is there anything that is not funny?
Congruency.

Please tell us a San Francisco joke
A grasshopper, walks into a bar in San Francisco, wearing a San Francisco t-shirt. The bartender, a native of San Francisco, says to the grasshopper, "Hey, we have a drink named after you." The grasshopper, a huge fan of both the San Fransisco 49ers and the San Fransisco Giants, asks, "You have a drink named Steve?"

Here at SFist we like to think of ourselves as givers. We give. You take. Again and again. So here you go, we're doing our part. We've got a pair of tickets for you to check out Mike Birbiglia at Cobb's on the eve of Halloween (yes, Tuesday, the 30th).

Mike is one very funny guy-- and nice enough to do a SFist interview. Which makes us feel pretty good since he's a regular on Letterman and Conan. So yes, we're in a good place right now, being a giver, and talking to the Stars. If only we could figure out what to be for Halloween...

Feeling Lucky? Enter by noon on Monday.

What's your take on the comedy scene in the Bay Area?
San Francisco has enough great comedians. It was a tough city to break into they don’t really need imports. Let’s just say there may be more creative people in the Bay Area than in Nebraska City, Nebraska. Is that a place?

Any advice to aspiring comedians?
Don’t be afraid to spend $80 on gas to make $50 to perform. And keep telling yourself that it’s going better than it is.

What makes a joke funny?
I think a grain of truth posed in a way the audience has never considered. Also, bananas and farts and the word “snausages” are very funny.

Is there anything that is not funny?
Well, in many instances comedy and humor are really devices for coping. In my life I’ve laughed at funerals, and with sick relatives in the hospital. We laugh to keep from crying. I believe that’s from Langston Hughes. Or Abrahams Lincoln. But you can credit “Mike Birbiglia.”

Even more pressure to stop screwing around and settle down, this time from advice columnist Jeanne Phillips, aka Abigail Van Buren, aaka Dear Abby.

"I believe if two people want to commit to each other, God bless 'em," the syndicated advice columnist told The Associated Press. "That is the highest form of commitment, for heaven's sake."

Pft.

However, when we found out that a coupon book specifically for East Bay eco-minded businesses, organic food, restaurants, sustainable living services, and entertainment was on its way to our little forgotten corner of the bay, we called up the folks in charge and asked for a review copy.

So yes, we got The EcoMetro Guide for free, saving $20 off the bat. But for you dear readers, we will tally the extent of the savings below, so you can consider whether it’s worth the investment.

What you get:

The first 40+ pages of The EcoMetro Guide are a bit of a mishmash: Some interviews with local eco-minded folk, some basic advice on living the green life that perhaps you might peruse while riding the bus?

For us, it’s all about the coupons.

When we began our daunting, three-month-long apartment hunt this past June, we soon discovered that the competition for affordable one-bedrooms suitable for two people was fierce. We needed to find an abode before our impending marriage at the end of September, but after spurts of fruitless open houses throughout the summer, we feared we were doomed to walk through our separate "thresholds" post-matrimony, with our various roommates lurking down the hall.

So, last week, after some wise advice to put our needs "out there," we posted a "housing wanted" ad on craigslist (link has expired), along with hundreds of other desperate apartment-hunters. An hour later, we received an email from a producer at CBS5 wanting to interview us about our plight (we never did receive anything from prospective landlords though).

That same day, we also scheduled an appointment to see a rather promising apartment the next morning, which preceded our CBS5 interview later that afternoon. We came away from the apartment-viewing very excited -- the apartment was ours once our references and credit checked out. We kind of had a feeling things would go down that way.

More of our non-story after the jump!

Matier and Ross have both our obsessions covered in tomorrow's column! (The column's dated for tomorrow's paper, but went live this evening which is why this is going up now.)

First off: Ed Jew! The Chron finally runs the story that accompanied the pictures of them being denied access to Ed Jew's alleged shower in his flower store from last week that were taken down. Alas, the pictures don't make another appearance, but M&R do say that they made an appointment to see the shower. The photographer came at the appointed time (unclear whether M or R showed up with the photog or not), at which point Ed said, "I don't know anything about this!" and bolted. Run, Ed, run!

In response, Jew's attorney told M&R again (no doubt with a deep sigh) that he's been advising his client not to talk to the press.

And next up: C. Daly!: What's cooking here? Well, did you guys read that Chron Two Cents "Career Advice for Chris Daly" that we told you guys about the other day? Did you notice the second piece of advice, from a "Josh Low" in the Mission, that Daly had good ideas, but should work on his communication skills? That's Chris Daly's brother-in-law!!!! Oh dear.

--Your Two Cents: what career advice would you give Chris Daly? [Chron Two Cents].

--Beth Spotswood finds some hilarious pictures of crush object Gavin Newsom! [Chron Culture Blog.]

--The SF Weekly starts their own Day Around The Bay column! Also called.... Day Around The Bay. [The Snitch.]

--Some legal analysis of Ed Jew's situation. [Sweet Melissa].

--A woman who works for the County of Alameda is missing up in Portland. [Oakland Trib.]

--Fatal shooting at the 16th Street BART station early this morning. [CBS 5.]