SFist Monthly Favorites

You Do Have Our Contact Info, Brit

Dear Brittney Gilbert,

We know you have our contact information, because you've used it to ask us for interviews (which seem to have been canceled altogether, it seems.) And that's fine. But when we see a post on the CBS5 blog speculating on the health of our organization, we have to wonder why you didn't do the responsible thing and, um, ask us?

We know that you're "just a blogger" and yes, there was a time when bloggers weren't expected to do any reporting, just provide speculation. And, sure, we still do it every now and then, but we try not to do so when we have access to the people we're writing about.

If you're honestly concerned about the fate of "bloggers employed by big media," bloggers like YOU, here's one hint that might help you retain your job: open your email and contact us. (Our deep self-absorption means we're totally open to blathering on and on about ourselves! You can even contact us here! It's just that easy!) Because the Bay Area market just got the gift of a couple of excellent unemployed bloggers who have the chops to do just that, and if you're not careful, your bosses might be wondering if those guys are available.

Much love,
SFist

Win Pair of Tickets to Litquake's Opening Night Literati Orgy

Litquake -- San Francisco's annual ode to print writing, serious novelists, and other assorted literary notables from the Bay Area -- kicks off their 2008 festival tomorrow night. To start the celebration, the formidable Beth Lisick and Arline Klatte will put on a very special episode of Porchlight: a Storytelling Series titled "Suckered: Writers Confess a Profound Lack of Judgment," wherein a sundry of scribes get up in front of an audience to prattle on about their own personal humiliations, lack of common sense, and moments of desperation.

That is to say, it'll be like an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting with booze.

The evening's guest writers fessing up to their epic fails are Jonathan Ames, Cintra Wilson (Salon-ish culture critic), Neal Pollack ("satirist"), Will Durst (local comedian), Robert Mailer Anderson (extraordinarily hot member of SF's incestuous high society), April Sinclair (not related to Upton Sinclair), Adam Savage (co-host of Mythbusters/former Charmin TV commercial thespian), and actual celebrity Amber Tamblyn (Sisterhood/Pants).

And the best part? One of you fine folks can win a free pair of tickets -- fancy VIP tickets, complete with free food, open bar access, and face time with the above authors. Yay, you! All you have to do is the following: in the comments please tell us your favorite Work of Our Time, Classic American Novel, Award-Winning Tome, or Book You Keep Prominently On Your Nightstand For All To See followed by one -- just one! -- sentence describing said novel. An SFist panel of literary experts will then review the thread, awarding the person who makes us shoot kombucha tea through our nose with a pair of VIP tickets to the show. (You have until 6 p.m. tonight.)

For those of you who don't win, but still want to go, info on Litquake's opening-night bash is right after the jump.When: Friday, October 3, 8 p.m.
Where: Herbst Theatre, 401 Van Ness Avenue, across from City Hall
Cost: $25 General Admission: $100 VIP Pass (includes post-show reception with open bar and a chance to share your stories with the storytellers)

WINNER: It came down to greggers ("Absalom, Absalom!") and Angrybat ("Bright Lights Big City"), but in the end went to Angrybat because cocaine addition always beats out alcoholism. Way to go, Angrybat!

Fiorina Slams SNL Palin-Clinton Skit as "Sexist"

Former Hewlett-Packard CEO, Republican, and moody bitch Carly Fiorina attacked Tina Fey's impersonation of VP candidate Sarah Palin as sexist because "it portrayed the Alaska governor as lacking in substance." The skit aired on Saturday Night Live this past weekend to much acclaim.

Fiorina tells CNN that "[t]he portrait was very dismissive of the substance of Sarah Palin, and so in that sense, they were defining Hillary Clinton as very substantive, and Sarah Palin as totally superficial," going on to say that the skit was "sexist in the sense that just because Sarah Palin has different views than Hillary Clinton does not mean that she lacks substance."

Wow.

Actually, the skit slammed Palin as lacking substance because a) she has little of it compared to Clinton, who has been in the public eye since the 1990s, and b) SNL has too much tact to make fun of retarded babies. Now go in the kitchen and make us some breakfast, Carly

Oh, and you can watch the opening skit in question here.

SF and Marin were Supposed to Look Like this by Now

Retro futurism found at fabiofeminofantascience.org

Oh man, what happened?

Biker Arrested at Caltrain

Shot by Dave Cadwallader, who can be reached at cops.on.a.train (at) gmail.com.

Oh how exciting! Caught on tape: A biker arrested by surly cops!

See, a cyclist got on train, allegedly found an available spot in the train's bike rack, which the conductor wasn't having. Then the conductor, we're told, demanded that said biker get off the train since "it was full". Cyclist dude refuses. And then? The fuzz arrests the guy at the San Carlos station.

And that? Is all we know for now. But don't let that glaring lack of info stop you from making a sweeping generalization. Which side are you on? Go.

(Read/see more about it here.)

Golden Gate Bridge Barriers Approved

Golden Gate Bridge District board of directors voted this morning to build a catch net to help prevent suicides on the famed bridge. According to the Gate:

The decision was greeted with applause from an audience of about 50 people, many of whom had fought for years to get a barrier built.
The only "no" vote was that of bridge district Director James Eddie of Mendocino, who said that people in his county did not support a barrier.

The is expected to run anywhere from $40 million to $50 million. While some don't think a barrier (or this net) will do much, the Psychiatric Foundation of Northern California is in favor of the barrier. What say you?

Park It: Spot or Not?

The Front Steps came home the other day, during that Bluegrass music thingy that happened in Golden Gate Park, and found the image at right parked near their apartment.

Uh oh.

It looks like the car is about two to three feet over the imaginary lines where the curb dips into no-no parking territory. Anyway, the neighbors, it seems, had the car towed for this (shoddy?) parking job. The Front Steps, much too kind to have a car towed, wonders if, in fact, this is a spot or not. We say no. But, yeah, we wouldn't have called to have it removed either.

Find out more about what went down here.

Mildly Humorous Yes on H Ad

Andy Blue (Reverend Billy) has demanded we show you this Yes on H: The Clean Energy Act ad, which, yes, is actually a bit clever. (Oh, and if H passes, it seems, 51% of our energy will be clean energy by 2017, 75% by 2030, and 100% by 2040! All of the energy used to power your hovercrafts, space TVs, and space hairdryers will be clean! Of course, all of that is debatable. But you all can wring your hands about that in the comments.)

And since it's better than that No on H ad in circulation, featuring the lovely Carmen Chu (and some serious PG&E undertones), we accept Blue's request. Also because we couldn't find the Chu-y No on H ad on Youtube. So: ha.

PARK(ing) Day Map and Images

We fibbed, folks. There is, you see, a map listing all of today's temporary parks. Go here to look for the nearest PARK(ing) Day setup near you. Or you can visit National PARK(ing) Day's site here to look for locations outside San Francisco and the Bay Area. (While the title of the day looks a little History of Consciousness-ish, the day isn't; in fact, it's downright fun while being educational. Zoinks, is right! We implore you all to check it out.)

Here, however, is the place for all PARK(ing) Day images coming to SFist throughout the day.

PETA Urges Ben & Jerry's to Use Human Breast Milk

Sigh.

PETA (People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals) has asked Ben & Jerry's to start using breast milk in their ice cream. While it looks like nothing more than a vile publicity stunt (or as Jameth puts it, an Onion article), we'll let the letter PETA sent to Ben Cohen and Jerry Greenfield speak for itself. Ahem:

September 23, 2008
Ben Cohen and Jerry Greenfield, Cofounders

Ben & Jerry's Homemade Inc.

Dear Mr. Cohen and Mr. Greenfield,

On behalf of PETA and our more than 2 million members and supporters, I'd like to bring your attention to an innovative new idea from Switzerland that would bring a unique twist to Ben and Jerry's.

Storchen restaurant is set to unveil a menu that includes soups, stews, and sauces made with at least 75 percent breast milk procured from human donors who are paid in exchange for their milk. If Ben and Jerry's replaced the cow's milk in its ice cream with breast milk, your customers-and cows-would reap the benefits.

Using cow's milk for your ice cream is a hazard to your customer's health. Dairy products have been linked to juvenile diabetes, allergies, constipation, obesity, and prostate and ovarian cancer. The late Dr. Benjamin Spock, America's leading authority on child care, spoke out against feeding cow's milk to children, saying it may play a role in anemia, allergies, and juvenile diabetes and in the long term, will set kids up for obesity and heart disease-America's number one cause of death.

Animals will also benefit from the switch to breast milk. Like all mammals, cows only produce milk during and after pregnancy, so to be able to constantly milk them, cows are forcefully impregnated every nine months. After several years of living in filthy conditions and being forced to produce 10 times more milk than they would naturally, their exhausted bodies are turned into hamburgers or ground up for soup.

And of course, the veal industry could not survive without the dairy industry. Because male calves can't produce milk, dairy farmers take them from their mothers immediately after birth and sell them to veal farms, where they endure 14 to17 weeks of torment chained inside a crate so small that they can't even turn around.

The breast is best! Won't you give cows and their babies a break and our health a boost by switching from cow's milk to breast milk in Ben and Jerry's ice cream? Thank you for your consideration.

Sincerely,

Tracy Reiman

Executive Vice President

After vomiting, what are your thoughts on using boob milk to make Chunky Monkey?

The Tipping Point

Our friends at Eater SF alerted us to a provocative Yum Sugar post detailing their contributor's somewhat funky experience at an unnamed San Francisco "small (but popular) restaurant that sells burgers and sausages to go."

Told that her order would take 15 minutes to complete, she was surprised to hear the counterperson announce:

Hey, listen up everybody! The tip jar is right here, and if you could make a generous contribution that would be great . . . dollars only, please!

The intention of the Yum Sugar post is to sweetly invite comment on what their readers would do, were they to find themselves in a similar situation.

We'd like to think we know all of you well enough to know what your response would be (that is, by those of you with the quad strength to squat over a jar) -- what we want to know is, what restaurant do y'all think was home to this act of gratuitous aggression?

Guesses, conjecture, and fake or real first person accounts in the comments, pretty please.

What's Going On Here, Black Monday?

Courtesy of (a triumphant) Jameth, these meow-ish posters, promoting progressive celebrity Cindy Sheehan, could be found all over SoMa this morning.

They're Ba-aaack: Blue Angels Have Arrived

Can you hear them overhead? While they don't as close to the ground as they used to during practice flight, you can sill see them if you poke your head outside this afternoon. Beware of the impending psychological and physical harm to follow.

Also, if anyone knows of any hidden-gem-ish Fleet Week events, club nights, or parties, let us know? Thanks.

Images of Blue Angels over SF this afternoon: Jim Herd and desinole

Film du Jour: Ralph Nader Mocks -- Mocks!! -- Barack Obama

SF Weekly's Janine Kahn captured Independent presidential candidate Ralph Nader's talk at SFSU yesterday. And he comes down hard on Barack Obama, calling him, among other things, a "sniveling coward." Oh noes! Get the smelling salts!

Read John Geluardi's take on it here.

Photo du Jour 224

Photo by kapshure

Stilt shoes: Y/N? (We say yes. Flats are dead.)

Muni Bids Adieu to OS/2

Anyone who follows Muni knows to roll their eyes when the subject of ATCS comes up. That's the lousy old software that controls the trains in the subway -- it was supposed to speed things up when it was installed back in the 90s, but as we know, subway service is slow slow slow. It's also to blame for those incomprehensible maps displayed on the flat-screens on the platforms. And now, finally, it's close to getting a makeover.

On the agenda for a Wednesday meeting of the SF County Transportation Authority: allocating $300,000 for a variety of projects, including an upgrade for the ATCS network platform from OS/2 to Windows. (Yes, OS/2. Our subway runs on OS/2. You're not surprised, are you?)

Hopefully this will mean faster operations and better support; but as Rescue Muni pointed out a year ago, system upgrades at Muni are often accompanied by disastrous hiccups. We can't wait!

Sarah Palin Engages in Perverse Journalistic Orgy of Excess

When asked what newspapers and magazines she reads, Sarah Palin replied, "all of them." All of them! And so, a meme is born.

All of them! All! All! All! Of! Them! The Modesto Bee, The Hartford Courant, The Louisville Courier-Journal, The Vassar Pioneer Times, Teen People, Tiger Beat, Paris Match, High Times, Destination Qatar -- ALL OF THEM!

All of them. We just can't stop repeating that line to ourselves. All of them! It's as nonsensical a response to the question as it would be to "can I interest you in any appetizers," or "which came first, the chicken or the egg," or "knock knock."

All of them! So, readers, we'd like to ask you: of all the Sarah Palin interviews so far, which has been your favorite? We hope you know the correct answer to that, and all, questions from now on.

Ask SFist: Prez Debate at Bars?

Reader Chris writes SFist to ask the following:

Do you guys know if any bars/lounges plan on broadcasting the presidential debate on Friday?

Hmm. Well, we know about this one happening at the Roxie. But that has those-who-laugh-self-consciously-loud-at-Shakespearian-comedies-in-the-Embarcadero-Cinemas attendees written all over it.

Does anybody (or any bar managers/employees) have word on whether or not their favorite watering hole will show Friday's Presidential debate? Let us know in the comment. Please. Then, on Friday afternoon, we'll cull them into a post.

Need an answer? Send you most private curiosities and intimate questions here.

Update: McCain is attempting to delay the debate date because he knows Obama will fillet, sear, and broil his pruned ass on the economy. Probably should sell one of his 48931759834 homes or cars on Craigslist to help out. Anyway, stay tuned. Friday's debate might not happen.

Mission Car Crash Perpetuates Females- and Old Folks-Can't-Drive Stereotypes

Always on the scene, Fred Sharples snapped up this image of a car crash, which went down today at on Mission Street. According to Sharples:

According to police a 90 year old woman stepped on the gas instead of the brake when pulling out of a parking spot on Mission near 21st. She went all the way across Mission and drove impossibly deep into a linen store. Someone working at the store was injured. The driver was ok.

Yikes.

Mind-Rendingly Epic Powder-Blue Suited East Bay Downhill Skateboard Run HD Video, With Beards

This is one of the best things ever.

Two gleeful bearded gents take a speed-drenched downhill skateboard run through the Claremont Canyon hills with their HD videocamera.

While wearing powder-blue suits.

If this video doesn't bring a bit of cheer to your life, we can't help you.

Bonus!!! = Holy crap, someone made a Google topological map of the route these dudes traveled: http://sippey.typepad.com/filtered/2008/09/insane-skateboarders.html

A film directed by Ari Marcopoulos presented by Adam Kimmel found on The Internets via the indispensible laughingsquid.com who got it from Jason Kottke who got it from dunstan.

Prop 8 Numbers Flip: Now the Marriage Ban is Winning

Leah and Barb from Stop8.org on Vimeo.

This news is, of course, insane, but a new poll indicates that Prop 8 is pulling ahead. If it wins, then a group of Utah Mormons will have seized control of the California Constitution, giving themselves the power to veto any California marriage they want. Like we said: it's insane.

So, what can you do? Plenty. Start by calling everyone you know RIGHT NOW to tell them that this is the big one. This is the election in which anyone who cares about civil rights absolutely MUST vote. You have until October 20 to register -- do it now. And make sure every person you know is registered, too.

And when you tell them about Prop 8, here's some talking points: Namely, that Prop 8 is a bunch of lies.

- They say it'll protect kids from learning about gay marriage in schools, but it won't.

- They say it'll protect churches from lawsuits, but it won't. (Marriage bans actually restrict free exercise; California clergy call them "excessive government entanglement.")

- They say it'll strengthen marriage, but it won't -- you can't "save" marriage by giving control to one religious group so they can arbitrarily withhold it. Prop 8 means more unmarried couples, and less protection for the 52,000 California families with kids.

- They say that Californians supported a marriage ban in 2000 -- but this is different. Unlike last time, Prop 8 introduces a brand new limit on marriage. And this time, the marriage ban had to come from out-of-state because Californians don't want it.

So. There you go. Get to work.

Disclosure: SFist_Matt is hard at work on a website and some videos that explain just how awful Prop 8 is. So, he's not exactly neutral on the subject.

Bar Tartine's Anthony Myint Serves Up Grub From Taco Truck Tonight

For those of you edgy kids hitting it in the Mission district tonight, Bar Tartine line cook Anthony Myint will be serving up batshit insane cheap, not to mention tasty, sandwiches from a taco truck all night long. He'll be at 21st Street and Mission. Details:

TONIGHT (THURSDAY): High-falootin' line cook from Bar Tartine goes all nitty gritty and shit.
Anthony Myint is subletting an antojitos truck in what, hopefully, will become a recurring Thursday night event.

He'll be peddling an assortment of sandwiches, each served on a piece of homemade scallion flatbread. Among them, the highly anticipated PB&J (Pork Belly and Jicama) and the busty vegetarian King Trumpet (wild mushrooms and triple fried potato).

WHEN: Thursday night, 8pm-2am. Watch Biden dispense of Palin and then hop
down to 21st and Mission to still your beating heart.

Um, prices are reasonable, dude. $3-$5.

Support local line cooks.

Prices, we're told, will range from $3-$5. Whoa, is right. A perfect way to start or end your night.

Really Dangerous Intersection Gets A Fix

We've been interested in the Fell and Masonic deathtrap for a while. So, it was with incredible glee that we saw this, above, on our morning run.

It's pretty simple - there's a left-turn arrow for westbound cars that stays green for about six seconds. Then the turn arrow goes red, and the bike/ped signal goes green. A new, longer left-turn lane has been installed on Fell to ease some potential traffic congestion from left-turning cars who need to wait for bikes and walkers. And, they have cleared quite a few of the low-hanging branches from the trees next to Fell, so westbound traffic can more easily see the signals and approaching foot and bike traffic.

A simple, elegant way to make the Panhandle safer. In San Francisco. Who'd a thunk it?

No More Drunken E-mail Blathering on Gmail!

While it'll be a pity to lose the belligerent/drunk/meth-induced emails the SFist inbox receives from midnight to 3 a.m. every night, we would be remiss to point out Google's latest application, one that helps reduce the amount of drunken emails you send out during one of those kinds of nights.

According to Webmonkey, "Gmail developer Jon Perlow created Mail Goggles as a kind of e-mail sobriety test. It works by stopping your message when you hit send and then presents a series of simple math problems you need to solve before you really send the e-mail."

While these math problems aren't too difficult -- well, for most of you, anyway -- it's designed as a sobriety test for for hitting "send." It's default is set to filter late Friday and Saturday night e-mails, but you can adjust it accordingly. Go ahead and enable it now by visiting the Labs section, selecting the times you want, and saving your changes. And -- voila! -- your appearance of sobriety will be restored in no time.

Now go on and drink with impunity, gentle readers.

(Thanks, kmsinsf, for the tip!)

Jordan McKay Memorial Bike Ride Tomorrow

Jordan McKay, who was shot and killed while riding his bike in the Richmond district earlier this month, will have bike-ride vigil held in his honor tomorrow. The San Francisco Bicycle Coalition, along wit McKay's family and friends, are helping put this together. If you have the time and the two wheels, you should join in the memorial Here are the details:

Family, friends, neighbors, and bicycle enthusiasts are invited to gather at the east end of the Panhandle (McKinley statue near Fell and Baker streets in San Francisco). The ride will stop for a vigil at 15th and Cabrillo where Jordan died, and then ride to a bonfire on Ocean Beach. Those who wish to participate in the vigil are encouraged to bring a flower or candle.

Avid cyclist, recent UCSC graduate,and Bay Area native McKay was also working to make the world a much better place. One of the organizations her preferred was the Grameen Foundation, a microfinance program helping the poor, mostly women, climb out of poverty and make better lives for their families, themselves. If the mood should strike, you can donate here.

Tomorrow's bike ride starts at 7 p.m.

Photos: Anonymous' Scientology Protest

Aw, we've missed you guys!

Anonymous was out in full force this Saturday, protesting the Church of Scientology over at the Montgomery Street compound. (For shots of previous protests, go here, here, here, and here. Whew.) Flickr user anmoyunos captured some of the more colorful members in action. Take a look.

Kinky Anarchist Group, No "Experts" Allowed

Those clinically-insane folks over at IndyBay.org posted an event that could be the most exciting sex-based event, ever.

See, the Kinky Anarchist Group's first-ever meeting takes place in the East Bay ~~tonight~~ next week. And we demand you check it out. (Unless you're a Democrat, which to anarchists is like loving Hitler.) But if you have ever "been reluctant to talk about sex with other anarchists, activists, and radical folks in your social scene, for fear of having your fetishes and desires judged as 'weird' or worse, 'problematic,'" you should check it out. [We've been asked to remove our careless photos remark -- which, by the way, you should not take if you attend this event. It's not that subversive.]

While we can't see any Nader lovers getting into any sexy rape scenarios, we can see it in spades with local anarchists. Mmm.

Also, can someone explain what they mean by "no 'experts'" in the above ad?

What: Kinky Anarchist Group
When: Thursday, 9/25
Where: Niebyl-Proctor Marxist Library in the Red and Black Reading Room, 6501 Telegraph, Oakland
Time: 7 p.m. - 9 p.m.
Cost: free/$1-5 donation
Misc: not wheelchair-accessible (omg, haters!)